Beautiful Crime
by Wanderluster08
Summary: Sophie Clarke never expected to return to Oceanside. But when an old friend passes away, she is forced to face the family she promised herself she'd never see again and face a love that she never completely let go of. Craig/OFC
1. Chapter 1

**A Beautiful Crime**

Summary: Sophie Clarke never expected to return to Oceanside. But when an old friend passes away, she is forced to face the family she promised herself she'd never see again and face a love that she never completely let go of. Craig/OFC

A/N: I thought of this story after listening to the song "Beautiful Crime" by Tamer. In my mind, Craig hasn't always been the way he is on the show. At some point, he was just a normal teenager living in a world that was fueled by the criminal lifestyle. We see on the show that he doesn't do relationships….but why? So, this is where my brain thought of this story. What if he had already had a "first love" and she wasn't drugs? What if she was almost the catalyst of his sinking into the dark pool he in now? I will say that I am, in no way, a professional writer (I wish!), but I do hope that you all will enjoy this creation. Please let me know what you think. I am absolutely open to constructive criticism, but let's keep it constructive. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own only what you don't recognize. Everything else belongs to the wonderful writers of Animal Kingdom and TNT.

* * *

 **Prologue**

 _Each step I left behind_

 _Each road you know is mine_

 _Walking on a line ten stories high_

 _Say you'll still be by my side_

 _If I could take your hand, oh_

 _If you could understand_

 _That I can barely breathe the air is thin_

 _I fear the fall and where we'll land_

 _We fight every night for something_

 _When the sun sets we're both the same_

 _Half in the shadows_

 _Half-burned in flames_

 _We can't look back for nothing_

 _Take what you need, say your goodbyes_

 _I gave you everything_

 _And it's a beautiful crime_

 _"Beautiful Crime" by Tamer_

(12 Years Prior)

She sat at the bus stop alone. Pulling her hair back into a ponytail, 21-year-old Sophie Clarke knew she was making the right decision. No matter how badly it hurt. No matter how badly she wanted to run back to the house she had begun calling home, to crawl back into bed with him and pretend that everything would be okay in the morning.

It was never going to be okay. Nothing would ever change, she knew that. But dammit, it hurt to accept that. It hurt so bad that she felt physically ill.

For the last four years, Craig Cody had been the most prominent thing in her life. At one point, she saw nothing but being with him for the rest of her life. He loved her when he could. He was a good boyfriend when he could be. Even as reckless and often childish he could be at times. He surprisingly always put her first. When he wasn't high.

When he was high, he forgot himself and her. Sometimes he couldn't even remember her name.

That hurt. But the fact that he chose the drugs over her….hurt even worse.

Of course, no one stopped him. No one could and no one wanted too. They needed him high when they pulled jobs. Even at 22….Craig Cody had stolen more cars than anyone she knew. Hell, she'd helped him a couple of times. But no one ever knew that. He'd never tell. He had to protect her.

Sophie reached up and wiped away the single tear that slipped down her cheek. Leaving Oceanside was going to be hard. Saying goodbye to her Nan had been harder….but leaving him?

It would always be the worst. But sometimes, you had to do…what you had to do.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Julia**

It had been Baz that called her. She almost hadn't answered the phone when she saw the Oceanside area code, but something told her she should. So, she did and now because of that, she was sitting on an airplane flying across the nation to say goodbye to a friend that she could've helped. Maybe.

Julia Cody had been a couple of years ahead of Sophie in school when they met. After Sophie's parents divorced and her father moved to Spain with his new wife, Sophie's mother couldn't take care of her, so she was sent to live with her grandma, Rose. Rose Clarke had been everything that Sophie had needed. Loving, caring, selfless and most of all…dependable. She had loved Sophie with every fiber of her being and taught her how to carry herself as a person. Sophie and her grandmother lived a few houses up from the Cody's and when Sophie first met Julia, she knew they'd be friends for life.

(FLASHBACK)

 _"You're new."_

 _10-year-old Sophie looked up and saw a girl with dark hair on a bicycle on the sidewalk. She threw her leg over the bike and walked over to Sophie with the bike._

 _"I'm Julia…live a couple of houses down," she said and stuck out her hand. She looked to be about 12 or 13 years old._

 _Sophie looked at her hand for a second and then extended her own. "I'm Sophie. I live here with my Grandma Rosie."_

 _"She's a nice lady. Sometimes my mom and I bring her cupcakes over." Julia said nonchalantly and then looked back and they both saw a woman standing at the edge of the driveway watching them. "That's my mom, they call her Smurf. But her name is really Janine. Do you want to come over? We could go swimming or something."_

 _Sophie watched as the blonde woman gave her a warm smile and Sophie nodded. "Yeah. That'd be cool."_

 _"Cool. Come on." Julia said and steered her bike towards the house. Sophie followed with great interest as they approached, "Smurf" smiled at her._

 _"You must be Sophie. I'm Janine Cody," she said and let Sophie shake her hand. "I already called your Grandma Rosie, she said it's fine for you girls to play."_

 _"Thank you, Ms. Cody," Sophie said politely and looked behind her at all the things in the driveway of the Cody residence. So many vehicles and expensive looking things that Sophie only remembered seeing in catalogs or on TV._

 _"Call me Smurf sweetie." Smurf said as she let the two girls walk past her. Sophie felt welcomed and followed Julia towards the backyard and from that point on, she was a member of the family._

(END OF FLASHBACK)

From that moment on, she and Julia had been the best of friends. As they grew older though, life started changing them. While Sophie studied, Julia got high and eventually, Josh was born. The older Julia got, the worse she got and finally one day she and Smurf had a big blowout fight and Julia took Josh and left. But at that point, Sophie was already too invested. Particularly with one of the Cody brothers.

Craig.

Craig Cody had been the love of her life all through high school. He had been her first in everything. He was wild, ambitious, and unpredictable. While her Grandma Rose liked him, she'd never liked their relationship.

 _"Honey, he's self-destructive."_ She'd always say.

And he was. Still was from what she'd heard. But she had loved him. She always told herself he'd change, for her. He'd been a good boyfriend when he was sober. Even when he wasn't, he was at least honest. As far as she had known. But life just took a drastic turn for them. By the time she was 20, she had a choice. Stay and wait for him to grow up, and still be waiting 12 years later. Or move forward with her life. So…she ran, as fast as she could. She told herself that she wouldn't ever see them again, or him. But here she was. In the worst possible way.

* * *

"Holy shit."

Sophie's fingers tightened around her purse strap as she heard Deran's voice as she walked up to the small funeral service. Immediately, eyes were on her and she felt like turning around and running. Again.

"Sophie, oh baby…..it's so good to see you. I wish it was under different circumstances." Smurf said as she walked up to her and wrapped her up in a hug. Sophie smiled and hugged her back and stupidly looked up to see him. Immediately as if she had burned him, Craig turned his head away from her and stood rigid.

"Me too," she whispered and pulled away from Smurf and saw a younger man standing next to her. Josh.

"I'm so sorry," Sophie said and to him and he nodded and gave her a smile before stepping forward and surprisingly hugging her. She gave him a pat on the arm as they pulled away and looked at the small group in front of her. Baz gave her a genuine smile as his wife, or girlfriend did the same. Pope simply stared at her, which wasn't unusual.

"Hey, Soph…" Deran whispered and gave her a nod as she passed. She gave him a quick smile and then went to the only other place she could stand. On the other side of Craig. He didn't even so much as look at her when she passed and she only felt even more tension between them. His jaw clenched so hard she could see it as his hands curled up. But nonetheless, she went to his other side and clasped her hands in front of her and stared at the closed coffin.

About a few minutes of silence, Smurf looked at all of them. "Would anyone like to say anything?"

She wanted too. She wanted to talk about the better times when Julia was clean. She wanted to tell Josh that despite it all, his mother did love him. But she couldn't. She couldn't say a word.

"They don't belong here, J." a lady across from them said. "Don't stand there with them. Don't."

Sophie looked up and looked at the lady as she zeroed her gaze on Josh.

"Dina, not now…please," J said as he looked over at Dina.

"She may have been weak, but she did everything she could to protect you from them." Dina continued.

"Dina, I'm fine. Thank you. But please, not here." J continued and Sophie felt Craig tense up next to her even more.

"Why don't you get the hell out of here." Craig snapped at the lady and Sophie watched as Dina just gave J one more look and then turned around and walked away.

She wasn't wrong. Julia had done everything she could, but…..no one could escape the Cody family.

Not even her.

After the other group of people walked away, they all stood their silently for a bit. Finally, Smurf nodded to the two men to lower the casket and they all walked in a line up to it. She stood behind Craig, he hadn't said a word to her, though she didn't expect him too. Why would he? But nonetheless, she stood behind his tall frame and waited for her turn. He didn't even pause at the casket when he walked up to it, just turned and followed Deran.

Walking up, she lay her hand on the casket and felt tears prick her eyes. "Bye Jules….I hope you finally found your peace."

* * *

Sophie walked into her grandmother's house and sighed in content. This was her peace. She could smell the distinct smell of roast and her stomach automatically started to grumble. Dropping her purse to the chair, she rolled her luggage out of the doorway and closed it the front door. Sudden footsteps could be heard as Sophie looked up and saw Rosie coming at her with open arms.

"There is my Soph," Rosie said warmly and threw her arms around her. "You've lost too much weight. Come on, I made your favorite and there is probably a pumpkin pie in the fridge."

Sophie was glad to be here and to see this woman again.

"Gran, you didn't have to do that," she said but followed the woman into the kitchen.

"Nonsense. Sit down, shut up and eat." Rosie commanded and then put a plate of food in front of her with so much food on it, it could probably feed a small army.

"Gran….."Sophie started to protest but the sharp look she was given shut her up and she started eating. The pot roast melting in her mouth like butter.

"How was….the funeral?" Rosie asked, breaking their comfortable silence.

Sophie wiped her mouth and sat back in the chair. "As expected. Smurf had a small ceremony, no one said anything…except for the neighbors, warning J that none of the Cody's should even have been there."

Rosie dropped her head and shook her head. "She struggled for a long time."

"I wish I could've talked to her," Sophie replied and felt stupid tears prick her eyes. "I should've talked to her. It wouldn't have been hard to do."

"Honey, Julia Cody was her own worst enemy. She tried to keep him away from a world that she was already allowing him to live in. She was lost. Just like the rest of them." Rosie finished and took the last bite of her food. "I do hope you don't mind me giving Barry your number though."

"No, no…that's fine. I'm glad you did. I'm glad he called, at least I got to say goodbye to her." Sophie answered and smiled when Rosie placed a big piece of pie in front of her.

"So, how's Philadelphia…and…your mother," Rosie asked with mild distaste that made Sophie want to laugh.

"Cold and disappointed. Both of them." Sophie answered. "She's obviously thrilled that I came back to Oceanside and that doesn't help the already deep wound of me quitting the hospital."

This took Rose by surprise. "You quit the hospital?"

"It's just a….. was a guy that worked there, he made things…difficult. Of course, mom insisted that I was exaggerating. But, he didn't make it easy to work there." Sophie explained and caught Rosie staring at her. "It's finished now, it's over and done. I'm working at my friend Amy's coffee shop and living with her."

"Did he hurt you?" Rosie asked and took a drink of her tea. "Because if he did, I probably have some contacts in Philadelphia…"

"Gran! We aren't putting a hit on anyone." Sophie laughed and then grew serious again. "He didn't hurt me. But like I said, it's over now."

"You did not put yourself through college to become a nurse, to have it ripped away from you by some brainless twit," Rosie argued. "Not my granddaughter."

"I'm fine. I'm just…..I'll figure it out." Sophie finished and smiled warmly at Rosie. "Thank you for dinner. It was delicious."

"Anytime my girl. Well, I do have bingo tonight…I can cancel, and we can…" Rosie started to say as she immediately began cleaning up the kitchen.

Sophie stopped her and took the dished from her hands. "No, no…same rule. You cook, I clean. Go to bingo, I'll be fine. I'm tired and plan on just take a shower and go to bed."

Rosie looked at her for a minute and Sophie just nudged her towards the hall. "Go…I'll be fine."

* * *

"What is your problem?" Renn asked as she pulled her dress back over her head. After the funeral, he immediately went over to her house to get some blow, and one thing led to another and now he was pulling back on his own clothes. But she knew, she immediately knew he had a problem. And he fucking did.

12 years. 12 years of trying to forget that face. Those same beautiful green eyes that he loved. The same long and dark brown hair he used to constantly feel the need to touch. Sophie Clarke had been the love of his fucking life, and when she left…a little part of him left with her. He dropped even deeper in the dark pool of sex, drugs, and alcohol. Anything to get her out of his mind. But it never worked. He still saw her in his dreams, drug-induced hazes, sometimes he swore he saw her on the street. He never told his brothers about that, hell no…they'd think of him as some sap or lovesick puppy. Fuck that. He wasn't. He didn't need that shit and he didn't need her. He had everything he needed right around him.

Money. Surfing. Drugs. Sex. In that order. She'd only screw that order up and he didn't need that order screwed up. He was perfectly fine the way it was.

"Craig!" Renn said as she hit his arm.

He turned towards her and gave her a lazy grin. "Sorry, I'm here."

"No, no you're not. It's $50," she said with an attitude and held out her hand.

"$50? It was fucking $30 last week…" Craig argued and dug out his wallet.

"You paid attention to me last week. Now it's $50. What the hell is going on with you? It's like you're somewhere else." Renn said and took the money from his hand.

"I'm always somewhere else," he replied and then looked at the clock. "I gotta go. See you later."

Renn rolled her eyes and watched him leave as she leaned against the wall. "Yeah, later."

He walked out of her beach house and ran a hand through his hair. He had to get his shit together, they had a job to do later that night. His head had to be in the game, but he couldn't stop thinking about Sophie. She had been beautiful 12 years ago, now? She was gorgeous. Her hair was still long and still looked just as soft. Her green eyes were still as piercing and beautiful now as they were then and damn it all to hell, when she walked past him at Julia's funeral, the smell of coconut and vanilla filled his senses as the wind picked up. It was her smell. It was as if the whole universe was against him forgetting her because now, all he thought about was those eyes. He hadn't loved much in his life, but he had loved her. Even though he knew he had to be a pretty shitty boyfriend, he loved her. But that wasn't enough, she'd left anyway. Sophie Clarke had been the first and only person to break his heart, after that? Fuck it. He didn't let anyone close enough anymore.

"Get yourself together, man…" Craig mumbled to himself as he drove the Scout down the streets of Oceanside. He pulled into the driveway of Smurf's house and walked inside to see Deran coming through the door.

"Soph, she looks good…." Deran started to say, but Craig shook his head. "Come on man…"

"I don't wanna talk about it. We surfing or not?" Craig asked as Deran just gave him an annoyed look and nodded. Craig walked into his room and dug through the little box. Pulling out the bag of white powder, he quickly did a line and closed his eyes. This would help calm his nerves. Hopefully.

* * *

Sophie looked up when she heard a knock on the front door and reached for the remote to pause the Netflix show she was watching. Getting up, she walked over to the door and opened it slightly and was surprised to see Josh, or "J" standing on the other side.

"Hi…Sophie?" J asked politely, holding a bag in his hand. "I'm sorry to bother you. Smurf said that your grandma lived here still. I was hoping you'd be here."

"No problem. Come in…my grandma's not here…" Sophie started to say, but J shook his head and walked through the door.

"No, I was hoping to talk to you. If you don't mind?" J asked and Sophie shook her head and motioned towards the kitchen table. He sat down after she did and dug through his backpack. "I wanted to give you this."

Sophie took the envelope from his hand and opened it, tears immediately filling her eyes. In the picture, dated from when Sophie and Julia were so much younger. Julia was probably around 19 and Sophie was 16.

"You were just a little guy when this got taken," Sophie whispered. "It was before she got really bad."

"Yeah. She said it was her favorite picture. Always made her happy when she was having a bad day." J explained and Sophie wiped away the tear that escaped down her cheek. J handed her another envelope and it contained more pictures. Sophie started going through them and stopped on another picture. Of her and Craig. So young, around the same time. He was about 17. He didn't have the long hair yet, but he had those same piercing blue eyes. His arm, which was free from tattoos, was slung over her shoulder. He had always towered over her 5'2 frame. It wasn't ever hard for him though, he was always the tallest guy in the room at 6'2 before he was even 16 and now stood probably around 6'4 or 6'5.

"Do you….do you remember the coleslaw incident?" J asked her as she broke out of her reverie.

Sophie nodded and frowned. " Yeah, that was the last we saw you two."

(FLASHBACK)

 _Sophie laughed as Deran tossed Josh up into the air, the 5-year-old screams of delight flowed through the air. Craig was in front of her, his arms dangling over her legs as she sat on the edge of the pool. Craig took the joint from her hand and took a long drag before turning around and running his hands up her legs._

 _"Wanna stay here tonight?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her middle drug her closer to the edge of the water. "Be a shame if you got all wet."_

 _"Knock it off," Sophie said, playfully swatting at his arm. "You know I can't. I have to work tomorrow."_

 _"Skip….come on, Soph….just stay with me," Craig said and pulled her even closer to the edge. "Don't make me get you wet."_

 _"Don't make promises you can't keep…" Sophie said and smiled at him as she leaned down and kissed him. "I can't."_

 _Deran was playing with Josh in the background, completely oblivious to the two of them as Craig's hand roamed down her thighs and he started to pull her into the water until a crash jolted them apart._

 _"This is fucking ridiculous!" Julia screamed as she stormed out of the patio doors and looked around. "Where's Josh?"_

 _"Julia, stop…." Smurf said as she followed her out. Sophie looked over and saw that Deran had stopped throwing Josh around the water and was holding him. The little boy's face was stricken with fear as the two women argued._

 _"No, I asked you…just for once to stop treating me like a damn child. I'm done with this shit." Julia snapped and looked around again. "Where the hell is my son!?"_

 _Sophie pushed herself up and walked over to the edge of the pool and grabbed the towel as Deran swam in her direction. Without a word, he lifted Josh up and Sophie wrapped a towel around him._

 _"Come on, let's get you into some dry clothes," Sophie said, smiling at the little boy. He continued to watch his mother and grandmother argue as Sophie walked passed them. She took him into Julia's room and handed him dry clothes. "Go ahead and change into these, okay? Then we'll turn on some cartoons."_

 _Josh nodded and took the clothes as he scurried away, Sophie could still hear the two woman arguing outside and as Josh came back in, he came over to her and tugged on her shirt._

 _"Can you help me?" Josh asked and Sophie looked down to see that he had pulled on his sneakers. Nodding, she tied them for him and smiled brightly._

 _"There you go," Sophie said as she combed his messy hair in place and nodded. "Now you look presentable. Come on, let's find some cartoons."_

 _A few more minutes of muffled arguing outside was drowned out by the sound of Bugs Bunny until suddenly a sound of shattering glass was heard and a few seconds later, Julia pushed her way into the bedroom._

 _"I'm done. I'm done with her, with them, with this. Joshy, we are leaving. Help me get your stuff together, buddy. Go get Fluff." Julia rambled as she started grabbing stuff out of the closet and throwing it into the bag._

 _"Jules…." Sophie whispered as she kept her arm around Josh, who was staring at Julia with wide eyes._

 _"Josh, go on. Get Fluff and help me pack." Julia said sternly and this time, the little boy moved to do as he was told. Sophie stood up and walked over and put her hand on Julia's arm._

 _"Jules…..talk to me," Sophie demanded and finally the woman looked up. Her eyes becoming more clear that they were earlier._

 _"I'm done with her. You should be too." Julia said and then turned towards her completely. "He's not going to change, Soph. Smurf has him exactly where she wants him. He won't change."_

 _"I'm ready Mommy…." Josh said from the door, under his arm was his stuffed dog "Fluff" and in his hand was a little backpack._

 _"Okay, buddy….just sit tight. I'm almost done. Hug Aunt Soph…" Julia said and Sophie saw tears gather in her eyes. Josh ran over and wrapped his little arms around Sophie's waist and Julia wiped away her tears. "Run Soph. I know you love him and he loves you…but she won't let him go. No matter what."_

(END OF FLASHBACK)

"She never told me what it was about. We didn't talk about them" J said softly and laughed. "Just lived in shitty apartments with barely any money and what money we did have…well, you know."

"She tried J…." Sophie started to defend Julia, but couldn't find the right words. "At least she tried."

"When did you leave?" J asked and put the photos back into the envelope.

"About 6 months later," Sophie answered and took a drink of her coffee. "She was right."

"Let him go from what?" J asked curiously, but Sophie shook her head and he dropped it.

J put the envelope back in his backpack and stood up. "She talked about you. It made her happy that you were in Philadelphia and in college."

"J, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that….everything was so screwed up. But, she did love you. She tried to do whatever she could. I think." Sophie said and J nodded and gave her a polite smile.

"Yeah, she tried," J answered and then took his stuff and Sophie lead him to the front door and they said their goodbyes. After closing the door, she leaned back against it and let out a shaky breath. So many of those memories flooded back to her, all of those memories she tried to push into the very back of her mind. Deep down where they wouldn't resurface. But they always did. No matter how many times she tried to forget about the Cody family, or Craig…..it was impossible. She had tried to escape it all in Philadelphia but just found herself even more miserable there. She didn't want to admit that she needed that family. She didn't. But sometimes, sometimes she thought about what life would have been like had Craig left with her. Had they went together. But she'll never find that out now. Just a few more days and she'd be back in Philadelphia and maybe this time she'd find a place where she could be happy.

* * *

"Did you start doing homework?" Rosie asked as she appeared in the doorway of the living room and held up a composition book. "You're hand-writing is very sloppy."

Sophie laughed as she looked up from her laptop and shook her head. "No, it's probably J's. He stopped by this afternoon and left it. I'll just take it over to Smurf's."

Rosie nodded and Sophie stood up and pulled on her sneakers as she wrapped her long gray cardigan around her and took the notebook. Opting to walk since it was a nice evening, she started down the road to Smurf's house. So many times she'd made that walk. The neighborhood was quiet, with a few cars idly passing by as she finally made it to the house and saw the gate open. Weird.

Walking up the front walk, she raised her hand and knocked on the door. It hadn't been completely closed and opened on its own. Okay, that was really weird. Taking a cautious step inside, she decided to just leave the book on the table but then heard yells of pain and froze. Following the sound, she made her way down the long hall and then stopped suddenly, gasping at what she saw. Baz, Pope, and Craig were in the sitting room. Blood everywhere and Baz getting ready to dig into Craig's chest.

Somethings never change.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all for the favorites and follows. I appreciate it so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think.**

 **Disclaimer: As always, I only own what you don't recognize. Everything else belongs to TNT and the writers of Animal Kingdom.**

* * *

"What the hell are you doing?" Sophie exclaimed and rushed forward. It was almost like she didn't recognize what she was doing as she took the gloves from Baz and put them on. Craig was either too delirious from pain to argue as she touched his chest but he kept his eyes on her the whole time.

"We got the bullet out but we gotta cauterize it or he'll bleed to death," Baz argued as Sophie stood next to him and held the bandage over the profusely bleeding wound.

Sophie couldn't disagree with that, but it still didn't make it okay. Cauterizing any wound was dangerous.

"You want him to go south?" Sophie mumbled and then saw Baz glare at her. "I'm just saying. Cauterizing a wound is always dangerous and not something that we actually do."

"No, taking him to the emergency room is something we could do. But we can't. So, we have this." Baz argued and shrugged. "And that's the only option we have."

"Because they report gunshot wounds and I guess you can't say he fell on the gun, right?" Sophie snapped back and Baz clenched his jaw as Pope just stayed silent.

"Guys…." Craig mumbled and she looked at him and saw him struggling to keep his eyes open. "If you're done bitching. Could you finish this? I'm not feeling so great."

"You wanna help? Then help. If you don't, then leave." Baz said, and then softened his gaze. "I get it. But we can't let him bleed to death. It's not like I wanna do it."

Sophie sighed and nodded. She knew he was right. Crawling onto the pool table behind Craig, she pulled herself as close as possible and nodded at Baz.

"No…wait…wait…" Craig mumbled when Baz got closer, but the man didn't listen and Sophie closed her eyes tightly when she heard the burning of the skin. Craig yelled out in pain and she pushed against him as he started to fall back against her. Baz continued and then stopped suddenly when they heard footsteps. Sophie looked up and saw J standing there with wide eyes. Baz paused and looked at him and finally, J just backed away and walked down the hall.

"All right, we got him done. Can you?" Baz started to ask, but she just shooed him out of the room. They left and she turned around and started rummaging through the bag. Pulling out bandages and ointments, she turned back to Craig and noticed swaying slightly.

"Hey…" Sophie said gently as she hurried up to him and caught him before he fell off the pool table. Sighing, she let him lean against her and shook her head in annoyance. "You should've gone to the hospital."

"They ask too many questions," Craig mumbled quietly near her ear. "Gunshots are reported."

"Still. This could get infected." Sophie said as she helped him straighten his body up. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Too late…" Craig said almost inaudibly and then raised his head and opened his eyes more. "Just do it."

Sophie pretended that she didn't hear him say that and carried on. She wiped the blood off his skin and tried her best not to look at him. Moving fluidly around the medical supplies she had the bandage on his arm in record time. For precaution, she wrapped another bandage around him and leaned closer as she put her arm around him and looped the white gauze around his arm.

"You need to take it easy for a couple of days," Sophie said as she finished. Backing away from him, she stood awkwardly in the middle of the room as he just nodded, ignoring her completely and attempted to stand up. She rushed forward as he stumbled and wound her arm around his waist as he found his grip.

"I don't need your help." Craig snapped and pulled away from her. She moved away from him and let him walk away slowly before he finally disappeared down the hallway. Sophie started cleaning up what she could and as she turned around, she saw Smurf standing at the opening of the living room.

"Hi baby….thank you for helping." Smurf said and took the trash bag from her. "Sophie…"

"I know. Say nothing," Sophie said as she started to move past Smurf. "I remember. Don't let him get that infected. He'll only have to go down South."

* * *

Sophie made it back to her grandmother's house in record time and immediately took a hot shower. She just stood under the shower head and let the hot water flow over her body. Closing her eyes, she just stood still. 12 years later and things still hadn't changed for the Cody family. Did she actually expect it to? Not really. But the reality of it all was still the same. They were dangerous and she was in dangerous territory.

 _I don't need your help._

The way he had spat those words at her hurt more than she cared to admit. That wasn't the Craig she used to know. But then again, did she expect to be welcomed with open arms? Hell no. She was scared of seeing him. Scared of feeling all those same feelings she felt before. She needed to leave. She needed to get back to her routine of being away from everything again.

But that also included Rosie. She hadn't seen her in over a year and despite talking to her every day on the phone. Sophie still missed her. So much. There wasn't a good bond between Sophie and her own mother, but there was with Rosie.

"Sophie? Are you okay?"

Speaking of such, Sophie jumped out of her reverie and realized the water had gotten much colder to the point of making her shiver. Rosie's voice came through the bathroom door and Sophie quickly shut the water off.

"Yeah, I'm almost done." Sophie called through the glass shower door and slide the door opened and stepped out. Wrapping a towel around her and ringing out her wet hair, she cracked open the bathroom door and smiled at Rosie. "Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts."

"Herbal Essence moment, I understand. Well, get some clothes on. Dinner's ready and Wheel of Fortune will be on in 30 minutes," Rosie said, the worry on her face diminished when Sophie's face appeared. Nodding, Sophie closed the door back and quickly dried her hair and pulled on her pajamas. Walking out into the living room, she paused as she walked by a group of pictures. The one in the direct middle was of her and Rosie at Sophie's high school graduation. She remembered like it was yesterday, Smurf had been the one who had taken the picture and Sophie's own mother hadn't even bothered showing up.

 _(FLASHBACK)_

 _"_ _Smile!" Smurf said and Sophie felt Rosie's arm tighten around her waist as they both smiled brightly for the camera. Once the shot was taken, Rosie started talking to some people and Sophie looked around the courtyard of the high school. All the kids had their parents and siblings. Sophie didn't. She had Rosie and Smurf. Sophie's mother, Victoria, had contacted her the week before and said she had something come up and wouldn't be there. She did send a card, that was unsigned and promptly burned by Craig when Sophie opened it in front of him and lost it. She hated crying over the woman, but it seemed like all she could do when Victoria Clarke was even mentioned._

 _"_ _Craig's sorry that he's not here. Mr. Nichols wouldn't grant it. Believe me, I tried." Smurf said almost menacingly and stared at the superintendent over Sophie's shoulder._

 _"_ _It's okay. I know." Sophie said and then hugged Smurf tightly. "But you're here. That means a lot to me."_

 _"_ _Of course I'm here. I'll always be here." Smurf said and reached over and hugged her again. "You're one of us baby."_

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

At the time, Sophie hadn't even grasped the depth of what that meant. She felt warmed by the acceptance and in some ways, still did. She knew that the feelings probably weren't the same now. But at one time, she had been a dedicated person to the family.

"All right, let's eat. I'm starving." Rosie announced as she walked into the living room carrying two plates. "I got out the fine china and fancy dinner tables tonight."

Sophie looked and saw paper plates and TV trays and had to laugh. "Thanks, gran, I feel special."

"Anything for my girl," Rosie said and then pointed at the chair. "Sit down and eat."

Sophie did as she was told and they ate in a peaceful silence. Watching an episode of Wheel of Fortune, Sophie looked over at Rosie and took a deep breath. "I need to go back home."

Rosie's hand stilled and then she proceeded and take a bite of her food. "I know."

"Soon," Sophie whispered and Rosie looked over at her. "Something happened tonight."

"Is he okay?" Rosie asked as she paused the television.

"Yeah. I think so." Sophie answered and then pushed her TV tray table away and curled up in the chair. "I just need to go back, you know."

"Are you scared of wanting him again? Or him wanting you?" Rosie asked, surprising Sophie and stacking their empty plates and disappearing for a second before returning and handing a bottle of beer over to Sophie. "Sometimes I just need to have a beer. So do you."

"Gran…." Sophie admonished but took the beer and when Rosie just gave her a pointed look, Sophie relented. "He doesn't want me. Pretty sure he hates me and I don't….no, I know….that I don't need him."

 _(FLASHBACK)_

 _Sophie jumped slightly when the front door crashed open. Looking up, she gasped when she saw Baz and Pope basically carrying Craig into the house. Moving off the couch, she quickly ran over to them and looked at his bruised face. "What happened?!"_

 _"_ _Just a minor mishap. Don't worry, you should see the other guy." Deran said almost excitedly as he came in after them. To the 17-year-old, this was just a game and by the smile on Craig's face, he too thought the same._

 _"_ _This isn't funny!" Sophie snapped and surprisingly they all stopped laughing about it and Craig looked up at her with wide eyes. She didn't say anything as she took Pope's spot and Smurf appeared with a medical bag. Baz helped her sit Craig down on the couch and then hovered next to her._

 _"_ _I got him. Just go." Sophie muttered and Baz took his queue to leave with Pope and Deran as Smurf followed them silently._

 _"_ _I'm fine.." Craig started to say and then hissed when Sophie rubbed the alcohol pad over his knuckles. "Jesus Soph, that fucking hurts."_

 _"_ _Not fine then, are you?" Sophie said but lessened her aggressiveness when he grimaced. "What happened?"_

 _"_ _You know, the usual," Craig said as he watched her work. "You're good at this."_

 _"_ _I have you to thank for that," Sophie said and then looked up at him and softened her gaze. "He kicks you in the ribs? Possible broken bones?"_

 _"_ _Nah, not on me. Maybe him." Craig said and smirked. "I beat the shit out of him. Can't you be proud of me for that?"_

 _"_ _So proud that on the night you were supposed to be out for Baz's birthday, you got into a fight with a guy whom you beat the shit out of. I'm so proud," she said and this time, he narrowed his eyes._

 _"_ _Why are you being such a bitch about this….fuck! Jesus Soph, that fucking hurts." Craig snapped, getting angrier now._

 _"_ _Why am I being such a bitch about this? What happens if you get shot or stabbed? Is it going to be fucking funny then? It doesn't matter how "good" I am at this…..I can't fix those things and you won't go to the hospital. So some night, Baz is gonna come back and tell me that you died in a fucking alleyway." Sophie said and threw the alcohol pad on the floor and rested back on her heels. "For goodness sakes Craig, everything about this is wrong."_

 _"_ _You know what fucking happens around here, all right? And you've never seemed to have a problem with it before." Craig said and took the bandage out of her hand. "I'll just do it myself if you don't want too. I don't need your help."_

 _Sophie watched as he fumbled with the bandage for a minute before finally throwing it to the side in frustration and got up and stormed down the hall. She heard his bedroom door slam and shook her head. Picking up the bandage, she followed and opened the door just in time to watch him snort of a line of cocaine. She watched him move over to his bed and sit down on the edge of it._

 _"_ _I just don't want anything to happen to you and I don't ever want you to have a problem like this that can't be fixed. I know what happens around here, I get that. I guess. But that still doesn't mean that I'm okay with you getting hurt." Sophie said as she gently shut the door behind her._

 _"_ _I know," Craig answered honestly and she walked over to him and knelt down and held out her hand. He put his own in hers and she started cleaning it up again._

 _"_ _I think you broke it," Sophie told him after inspecting his swollen knuckles. "How hard did you hit the guy?"_

 _"_ _Hard enough." Craig gloated and smirked at her. "I'm a big guy."_

 _Rolling her eyes, Sophie just continued to tend to the wounds and finally finished and pushed herself up. As she backed away though, she felt him wrap an arm around her waist and pull her against him._

 _"_ _I gotta get money. How else are we gonna get to Belize?" Craig asked as he looked at her with the most sincerity she'd ever seen him give. "I promised you we would. I promised you that we would leave."_

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

A pipe dream was all it was. Belize was always going to be their escape. But, it never happened. It wasn't even a year later, and she was gone. It was all just a faded memory now. Sophie looked over at the clock on the bedside table and saw it was close to 2:30 in the morning. Pushing herself out of bed, she padded over to the bathroom and splashed water on her face. Staring into the mirror, she almost didn't recognize the person she saw anymore. Gone was the carefree nature she used to have. Now? She didn't know what she wanted. A part of her knew that returning to Philadelphia would be safe from the Cody's. Even though, after Craig's reaction to seeing her again didn't give her much thought they would even be worth worrying about.

She was right when she told Rosie she didn't need him anymore. Because she didn't. She had lived 12 years on her own without him and did just fine. Except for the stalker ex-boyfriend, a horrible relationship with her mother and losing her job. But most of that was out of her control. She just drew a bad card. Maybe she could stay in California. San Diego was nice, it would be closer to Rosie. But far enough away that she could also live her own life. It was worth thinking about at least.

* * *

(3 days later)

Craig stumbled out of Renn's house and got into the Scout. Pulling back his shirt, he looked at the infected wound on his chest and let out a painful sigh. He hurt. No amount of coke or oxy could even touch the pain. Not to mention earlier that day, he and Deran spent most of their time in some scrap yard destroying the Range Rover and now also had to get rid of the watches. Fucking great. Driving down the street, he drove past Rosie's house and saw a car in the driveway that usually wasn't there. He knew this because, despite everything, he watched over Rosie in his own way. The car had to be Sophie.

He could always have her look at his chest. At this point, he was that desperate. But he just kept driving and finally pulled into Smurf's driveway and got out. Silently walking through the front door, he made his way down to his room and shut the door. Digging through his dresser, he pulled out a bag of coke and started to prepare it to snort when the bedroom opened and he looked over and saw Deran.

"Dude, ever heard of knocking." Craig snapped and turned back to the line of coke and snorted it. He held the bridge of his nose and let out a breath before sluggishly walking over and collapsing on the couch. "What?"

"Maybe you need to see someone about that. Soph….." Deran started to suggest and stopped when Craig glared at him.

"Don't." Craig threatened and leaned back against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. His chest fucking hurt so much.

"Don't be such a pussy about this man. Just go ask her to look at it." Deran said and watched Craig. He had to admit that he was worried. Really worried. When Craig said nothing, Deran just shook his head and walked out of the bedroom. He started into the living room to finish playing the game he had started earlier, but then grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

Sophie was just about to sit down and watched TV when she heard a knock on the door. What was it with people interrupting her when all she wanted to do was watch Netflix? Putting down her bowl of cereal she walked over to the door and opened it and stared in shock when she saw Deran standing on the other side. "Hi….."

"Look, he's gonna kill me. But Craig needs you. His….problem is a big problem." Deran said and ran a hand through his hair. "Could you come and look at it?"

"Yeah…sure. I mean….yeah." Sophie stammered and quickly grabbed her stuff and followed Deran out the door. She didn't see any vehicle and followed him as they silently walked down the street.

"So..uh…how you been?" Deran asked and looked over at her while lighting a cigarette and holding the pack towards her.

Shaking her head at the offer, Sophie gave him a half smile. "Good. Really good. You?"

"Yeah…same," Deran answered and they continued to walk in an awkward silence until finally reaching the house. She followed Deran in and down the hall. He knocked once on a door and she heard Craig's voice. But he sounded sluggish. Deran opened the door and walked in.

Craig looked up from his spot on the sofa and saw her. "Dude, what the fuck?"

"Just let her look, man," Deran said and motioned to her. "Go ahead, he won't bite."

Sophie cautiously walked around Deran and watched Craig just narrow his eyes at her before finally mumbling a curse word under his breath and laid his arms down at his sides. She took a deep breath and knelt down next to him and reached up and pulled his shirt away. Gently pulling back the tape on the bandage, she immediately knew it was bad without even looking closely. "This is very bad."

"No shit." Craig snapped and then moved away from her. "I already knew that."

"Dude, stop being such an ass," Deran said and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. "Does he need to go south? Tell him he needs to go south."

"You need to go south. Do you have a fever?" Sophie questioned and received no reply. So, she leaned up and touched his forehead and grimaced. "Craig…"

"What? It's infected. I know that. I'm not going south. I can take care of it myself." Craig said and moved away from her as he got up and moved back over to his dresser. Reaching in, he pulled out a baggie and started to take more pills.

"That is not going to fix the problem," Sophie said and then jumped when he slammed the drawer and turned slowly back to look at her. "I just mean…."

"Why are you even here? It's not like you fucking care. Because if you did….you know what doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter anymore." Craig snapped and pointed to the door. "Just get the hell out. Both of you."

"You need help. That is infected, if it gets into your bloodstream…it could kill you." Sophie said and leveled her glare at him. "Saying I don't care isn't fair because I do care. You. Need. A. Hospital."

"And you need to just leave and go back to wherever the hell you were. I don't want you here and I never did." Craig snapped and silence filled the room.

Deran looked at him with wide eyes and started to shake his head. "Dude….come on…."

Sophie felt tears well up in her eyes and pushed them back as she turned around, looking at Deran. "He needs to go south."

Deran nodded and started to say something, but she pushed past him and walked as quickly as she could out of the house. She made it back to her grandma's house in record timing and immediately pulled out her laptop to find the quickest and cheapest flight back to Philadelphia. But before she could do anything, an iMessage popped up and stopped her.

 _I know where you are at. Stop trying to hide from me._

Slamming the laptop lid, she sunk into the chair and felt hot tears rolling down her cheek before heavy sobs left her body. She was absolutely trapped. She couldn't go back to Philadelphia because it wasn't safe and she couldn't stay in Oceanside because she never belonged anyway.

* * *

He felt even more like shit now. Deran had left without saying a word to him, but that didn't bother him. The look on her face did. The minute the words flew out of his mouth, he regretted it. He'd told himself all those years ago that he never wanted to see her look at him like she did today.

He didn't mean what he had said. Dammit, he hadn't meant it. He had wanted her, hell he still did. She was everything to him at one time.

 _(FLASHBACK)_

 _"_ _Belize. That's where we'll go." Craig said out loud in the dark bedroom. Sophie lay curled up at his side, his arm holding her against his side. "We won't need any of this shit. Just live on the beach."_

 _"_ _I want to go to school," Sophie whispered against his skin and tightened her hold on him. "Then Belize."_

 _"_ _Fine. You'll go to school. Graduate. Then Belize." Craig relented and brushed her hair back when she raised her head up to look at him and smiled. "4-year plan."_

 _"_ _Yeah?" Sophie asked and leaned against him. "You promise?"_

 _Craig nodded and kissed her. "Yeah…I promise."_

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

She was gone 8 months later. No more Belize. No more escape. Just Oceanside. He fell deeper into drugs and alcohol. The jobs started getting bigger, and because of that….so did the money. Now? He had everything he wanted. Almost everything.

Crushing the pills into powder, Craig leaned down and snorted the line before raising up and pulling the bandage off his chest and looking at the deeply infected wound in the dirty mirror. Grabbing the knife and blowtorch, he sterilizes the blade and touched it to his skin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello all! Thank you for all the favorites, follows and reviews. I love hearing what you think. I hope you enjoy this next chapter and please let me know what you think.**

 **Disclaimer: As always, I only own what you don't recognize. Everything else belongs to TNT and the wonderful writers of Animal Kingdom.**

* * *

 _(15 Years Earlier)_

 _Sophie said a quick goodbye to her grandma and slung her backpack over her shoulder before rushing out the front door. The now 16, almost 17 year old smiled happily when Julia got out of the Jeep and met her halfway with a big hug._

 _"I missed you so much!" Julia exclaimed and then pulled away and looked at her. "Get in. How was Philly?"_

 _"It was so great. I wanted to stay." Sophie said with a straight face and then started laughing when Julia gave her a shocked look. "It freaking sucked. I was so ready to come back as soon as I got there. I have a new dad though."_

 _"Don't do that. I thought you were serious!" Julia exclaimed as she started to back out of the drive. "So, your new dad. Rich? Tall, dark and handsome?"_

 _"Only the best for Victoria Clarke…I mean Carlyle. Victoria Carlyle." Sophie answered sarcastically and then saw Julia pull out a joint from her purse, but saw a needle in the side. "Jules…"_

 _"What?" Julia asked and then looked down and saw what Sophie saw and quickly covered it up. "Oh, don't worry about it. Just birth control."_

 _Sophie stared at her for a minute and then Julia just smiled and winked at her. "I'm fine, Soph."_

 _"How's Josh?" Sophie then asked, changing the subject and saw a genuine smile fill Julia's face._

 _"He's good. He's gonna be so happy to see his Auntie Soph again." Julia said as she pulled the Jeep into the driveway and got out. "Come on, Smurf's making you dinner."_

 _"What? Really?" Sophie said and laughed when Julia gave her a knowing look and walked into the house. Sophie could hear music playing and laughter from outside by the pool._

 _"I'll put your bag in my room. She's in the kitchen." Julia called out as she walked down the hall and Sophie turned and walked towards the kitchen. Rounding the corner, she smiled when she saw a familiar blonde._

 _"Hi, baby!" Smurf called out happily and moved around the island and wrapped her arms around Sophie. "It's so good to see you. We've missed you."_

 _"I've missed you too," Sophie said honestly and pulled away, but when she stepped back she felt someone behind her and turned her head and looked up to see Craig standing there. "Hey…."_

 _"Hey," Craig smirked and eyed her up and down before leaning against the island. "You're back."_

 _"I am," Sophie said as Smurf turned back to cooking._

 _"How much longer till dinner?" Craig asked, looking over Sophie's head at Smurf. "We're starving."_

 _"Still about an hour, baby. Why don't you take Sophie outside by the pool and catch up." Smurf said, smiling at him as she turned her head towards them. "Soph, honey….do you have a bathing suit?"_

 _"Yeah, I'm wearing it already," Sophie answered._

 _Smurf nodded and pointed to the chair and turned back towards the stove. "Just put your clothes there. I'll put them in your room."_

 _"Yeah, come on. Take it off then." Craig whispered into her ear as he reached around her and grabbed a cookie off the plate. "You know, the shirt and shorts. Come on, I have weed."_

 _"Oh, boy…how romantic." Sophie scoffed but pulled her shirt over her head and felt his eyes on her again. "My eyes are up here, Cody."_

 _"I don't remember you being this mouthy." Craig teased as she followed him out onto the patio after pulling off her shorts._

 _"A lot has changed," Sophie said as she sat down on the edge of the pool and put her feet in the water._

 _Craig just watched her before jumping into the water and splashing her and as he resurfaced was in front of her and smiled up at her. "Yeah, I guess it has."_

 _"Hey Soph!" a voice said from behind her and she saw Baz and Deran exiting the house and diving into the water. Sophie smiled and waved at them as she watched Craig swim towards them and they started playing basketball. A few minutes later, the patio door opened and Julia walked out. In her arms was Josh, who was almost one year old._

 _"Here Aunt Soph…" Julia smiled and handed him over to Sophie. Immediately, he smiled happily at her in which she returned and sat him in her lap._

 _"Does he like the water?" Sophie asked and Julia nodded as she stood up. "Where are you going?"_

 _"Oh, I gotta run to the store for Smurf. Can you keep an eye on him? He does the like the water, sit in the shallow end with him and he'll splash around like crazy." Julia said and smiled down at Josh. "Be good, baby."_

 _Julia left after that and Sophie held Josh as she stood up and walked over to the shallow side of the pool and sat down and as soon as she sat him down in the water, his little arms started flailing in delight causing Sophie to laugh and forget how strange Julia had been acting. Suddenly a bag splashed next to her as someone tossed it and she looked up and saw Craig smirking at her._

 _"It's his stuff," Craig yelled over at her and she looked down and saw a bag of toys and looked back up at Craig and smiled her thanks. They stared at each other for a moment before Baz swam over him and pulled him under the water. Before she left, she and Craig had just started talking more and despite Julia warning him to "stay away from my friends", they even talked a couple of times on the phone while she was gone. Whatever was happening between them wasn't necessarily a bad thing in her opinion. But she also knew that Craig Cody didn't do relationships._

 _"Dinner's ready!" Smurf called out from the kitchen and then looked outside and walked over by Sophie and Josh. "Where's Julia? Did she leave?"_

 _Sophie adjusted her grip on the slippery baby and looked up at Smurf with squinted eyes. "She said she had to run to the store for you."_

 _"Baz!" Smurf called out as Sophie watched her shake her head. "She left again. Go find her."_

 _All the basketball stopped and Baz let out an annoyed sigh and Sophie watched him climb out of the pool as what seemed to be a fun time was suddenly just done. Sophie looked up at Smurf with questioning eyes. "Is something wrong?"_

 _"No sweetheart, don't worry about it. Let me grab a towel and I'll take Josh so you can come in and eat." Smurf said and turned back to walk into the house. Sophie smiled down at Josh, who was oblivious to everything as he just continued to play and then looked up when she felt eyes on her. Craig had already exited the pool and was holding a towel._

 _"Want help?" Craig asked and Sophie nodded as she stood up and extracted the toys from Josh's hands and handed him up to Craig, who wrapped him into the towel and held him as he then put out his own hand for Sophie to use for leverage to get out of the water. She accepted and the minute their hands touched, they looked at each other and kept their eyes locked as he pulled her up and handed Josh back to her._

 _"Thank you," she whispered and Craig nodded. They were impossibly close and she raised her hand to touch the warm skin of his chest as he looked down at her, but at the same time that they leaned closer to her, Josh screeched with delight and kicked his little leg and they moved apart as Smurf walked out._

 _"Okay, let me take him and get him into some dry clothes. You two go ahead and go in to eat." Smurf said and took Josh from her and smiled at him. She walked away and Sophie and Craig continued to stand where they were._

 _"Wanna hit the beach after dinner?" Craig asked and ran a hand through his wet hair. "We are just going to catch some waves."_

 _"Yeah…sounds fun," Sophie answered and he smiled and started to turn away and she followed. "Hey, what's going on with Julia?"_

 _He stopped at the patio door and looked down at her and shrugged. "Heroin or some shit like that. I don't know, she isn't around that much anymore. Smurf is pissed though."_

 _Sophie was startled at the news, but it all made sense now. The needle in Julia's purse, the fact that Sophie had such a hard time getting ahold of her while she was in Philadelphia._

 _Craig must have noticed her look of concern because suddenly his arm was over her shoulder. "Come on, don't worry too much about it. Baz will find her, bring her back here and she'll come down from her high. She'll be safe."_

 _"Yeah. Safe." Sophie whispered and looked up at him. He smirked and led her into the kitchen, shutting the patio door behind them._

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

* * *

Sophie walked towards the grave and stopped in front of it and peered down at Julia's name engraved into the headstone. Sticking her hands into the pocket of her hoodie, she just stared. Part of her was angry, Julia could have left. She HAD left, only to just live worse. To force her son to live the life she desperately didn't want him in. But yet, he lived it and in the worst possible way. Alone.

"I want to be mad at you. But I can't be." Sophie whispered and knelt down and left the flowers on the ground. "I should've found you before I left. You could've come to Philadelphia with me. I'm sorry that I didn't."

"She wouldn't have gone." J's voice said softly from behind her.

Sophie jumped and turned around and saw him walking towards her. "Maybe?"

"She hated them. But she didn't want to leave them. It's not your fault." J said and stood next to her with his hands in his pockets. "I'm the one who shot her up."

Sophie stared at J for a second until he stood next to her with his hands in his pocket.

"The day she died. She couldn't find a vein, so I did it for her." J explained and then silence filled the air around them.

"It's not your fault." Sophie finally told him and looked over at him. "It's not. She had a choice."

"Yeah, me or the drugs. She chose the drugs. Just like Craig did to you." J finished and shrugged. "But yet, we keep loving them anyway."

Sophie shook her head and looked at him. "J, circumstances are different."

"Not really. Except she was my mom, and she still chose drugs." J finished and then started to walk away. "Sophie, they are thieves or something, aren't they?"

Her silence must have answered his question because he just nodded and started to leave.

"J," she said, as he stopped and looked over his shoulder at her. "You're smart. You shouldn't stay."

"Neither should you," J answered back and then gave her a half smile. "But easier said than done, right?"

Sophie let him leave this time and turned back to the tombstone and swallowed. "Yeah, easier said than done."

* * *

Deran put the board back into the Scout and looked over at Craig as he struggled to put the board back in place one handed. Finally, Craig looked up at him and let out an annoyed grunt. "A little help?"

"Yeah…" Deran said and threw his cigarette on the ground and stalked over, picking up the board and putting it in place next to his. "You know, if you just would've listened and gone South earlier…..maybe you'd be useful."

"Bro…," Craig said as he stared at him with wide eyes. "Why are you being such an asshole? I told you already, Smurf already blamed my ass for getting shot."

"Forget it, man. Let's just go." Deran said and climbed into the vehicle. Craig rolled his eyes but followed suit and as soon as he sat down, Deran saw him pull a baggie out. "Aren't you on pain medication or something?"

"So…wouldn't be a first time. It's a science, man and I'm a fucking genius when it comes to it." Craig gloated but noticed that Deran didn't laugh, in fact, he watched as he rolled his eyes. "All right, what the fuck man? You've been treating me like shit for the past two days."

Deran shook his head and almost kept quiet until he noticed Craig just going back to the baggie. "It's because you fucking deserve it."

"Man, you are the one that screwed up the recon that got me shot in the first place. I didn't do that." Craig snapped back and shook his head. "Forget you, man."

Deran slammed his hands onto the steering wheel. "This has nothing to do with that shit man. It has nothing to do with Smurf or the job. It's Sophie. You were an asshole to her. You told her that she meant nothing to you and I know that's not fucking true. I saw you after she left. You went on a binder and almost died. She did mean something to you. She meant a hell of a lot to you."

"Yeah, and she left me. Why aren't you pissed off at her? Why are you defending her?" Craig said as he put the baggie away and leaned back into the seat.

"What did you expect her to do man? Wait around for you to decide that you wanted to give up that shit for her?" Deran asked, pointing to the white substance. "Have a couple of kids, leave her alone and watch as things turn to shit?"

Craig stayed silent and stared forward.

"See, you still can't say anything. Because you were never going to choose her. You just wanted her to fall into line with the life you wanted." Deran scoffed and started the Scout and started to drive. "You are selfish man. Fucking selfish."

Craig slammed his hand into the dash and faced Deran. "She left. I didn't leave her, she fucking left me. I loved her."

Deran was surprised to hear him say that but just shrugged. "But apparently not enough, what reason did you give her to stay?"

* * *

Later that evening, Craig stayed away from Deran and didn't feel like going to Renn's. So, he went to the beach instead. He could clear his mind there, he always could. His arm hindered his idea to surf, but that didn't mean he couldn't just sit there. He almost lit the joint he had in his pocket but didn't feel like doing that either.

 _"You were an asshole to her. You told her she meant nothing to you."_

Deran's words echoed through Craig's mind. Shit, he still felt like an asshole after saying that. Deran had been right, Sophie had meant a lot to him. Maybe he had wanted her to fall into line with the life that he had and still was living. He could have taken care of her, right?

Shit, he could barely take care of himself sometimes. Maybe it had been right for her to leave when she did. She seemed to be doing good for herself. But that didn't mean he hadn't wanted her to stay. He had. It did hurt when she left, and the way she left was even worse. She just left.

 _(FLASHBACK)_

 _Craig walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. "Where is Soph?"_

 _Smurf looked up from the stove and shook her head. "I don't know, baby. I haven't seen her this morning."_

 _Craig looked outside and didn't see her out there either and made his way back into his room. Suddenly it hit him, things were missing. Her bag that was usually laying on the chair, the robe she had hung up on the doorknob of the bathroom. Her books that littered the bedside table on her side was gone._

 _All gone. And it's in its place was a note._

 _He picked it up and started reading it, and suddenly felt his veins grow cold. She was gone._

 _Deran opened up the bedroom door and smirked. "You guys decent….what's wrong? Where's Soph?"_

 _"Gone," Craig mumbled and put the note back down. "She left."_

 _"Oh, what time will she be back? Was thinking about seeing if you guys wanted to go surfing?" Deran asked, completely oblivious._

 _Craig almost felt sick and he felt…just hurt. His chest tightened and he shook his head. "No, she's gone. For good. She left."_

 _"Dude…." Deran said gently after a brief moment of silence and ran a hand through his hair. "Shit..."_

 _Craig swiped his hand over the end table and Deran jumped as things flew through the air and crashed against the wall. Grabbing his jacket, Craig pushed passed Deran and left the house with a slam of the front door. That night he spent most of his time snorting line after line and drinking shot after shot. He felt weak as he rested his head on the bar. No amount of any of that shit could make him feel better. He knew that he'd wake up in the morning and she'd still be gone._

 _"Craig, yo man…you still with us?" Pauly said as he shook Craig's arm. "Nina! Call Baz, he's pretty bad here."_

 _"Come on, man. Talk to me." Paul continued to coax as he lifted Craig's head and looked into his eyes. "Man, what happened?"_

 _Craig wanted to say something, but couldn't without slurring his words. Within a few minutes, he felt another hand on him and opened his eyes and saw Baz's concerned face._

 _"Craig, come on man….you alright?" Baz asked and gently hit his cheek. "Talk to me."_

 _"She's gone," Craig mumbled and Baz looked at him in confusion. Motioning over to Deran, he helped Craig off the barstool and with Deran's help got him into the Jeep. Driving back to Smurf's, the two carried Craig inside where Smurf was waiting._

 _"Is he od'ing?" Smurf asked as she met them at the door. "What the hell is going on?"_

 _"Soph left," Deran whispered and the room filled with silence. "She's gone."_

 _Smurf and Baz both looked down at the floor and then Smurf took a deep breath and smiled warmly at Craig. "Okay, baby. Let me see your eyes."_

 _"I think he's got just a mixture of shit in his system," Baz said after a while and Smurf agreed. But Craig just sat there, too numb to move as Smurf sat down next to him and ran a hand through his hair._

 _"You need to get some sleep, baby." Smurf said and Craig just stared forward as Baz and Deran left the room, but not before shooting concerned looks at him._

 _"I loved her," Craig mumbled. "I thought that was enough."_

 _"Oh, baby…I know." Smurf answered soothingly and brought his head down to her shoulder. "Sometimes things like this happen to show us where exactly our lives are supposed to go."_

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

That's exactly what happened. The jobs started getting bigger, and more money flowed in. With that,more drugs were bought and they became a source of his day to day life. But, it he was effective that way. He did things that none of them would do. He didn't need to worry about trying to make someone happy, because he didn't need anyone. He kept women at arms length, only using them for one thing. He wasn't going to let anyone close enough again. He couldn't. The more drugs he did, the more he forgot about her and everything else. So, seeing her only made him think of all those feelings he had pushed way back into the very back of his mind and all he wanted to do was lash out at her, just to make himself feel better about all the worthless shit he'd done with his own life the last 12 years.

But it really didn't help. It didn't make him feel better to see her hurt. To know that he hurt her. Over and over again her expression when he said that he never wanted her flooded his brain and it made him even feel worse. Maybe she hadn't had any other choice back then. Maybe running was her way to escape. From him and from all of them.

* * *

Sophie walked down the beach as the sun began to set and saw everyone packing up from their day. So she watched as families and friends all laughed together and a little girl ran in front of her as she was getting in one last kite flying excursion with her dad. She smiled at them as they passed and continued down the sandbar. Suddenly though she saw someone in front of her, he didn't see her yet but she saw him. A part of her wanted to turn around and just leave, but the other part of her was done running.

"Hi," she said loudly enough for him to hear her. Craig froze for a brief second and turned around to look at her and she was surprised to see how much better he looked. "You look so much better."

Craig looked down at her and then motioned to his arm still in the sling. "Yeah, it's better. Had to go South."

Nodding her head, she put her hands in her hoodie pocket. "Well, it's good to see you feeling better."

Craig nodded and they stood in an awkward silence and she just turned around to leave but then felt something come over her and turned back around. "You know, I do care and I did care about what happened to you the other day. That wasn't fair."

"That wasn't fair?" Craig scoffed and shook his head. "Give me a fucking break."

Shaking her head, she laughed and watched him. "Yes Craig. You know what else isn't fair? Hearing that someone never wanted you to begin with."

"Yeah, and waking up to find a fucking goodbye note from your girlfriend telling you that she can't do it anymore isn't so fucking great either!" Craig snapped and ran his good hand through his hair. "You couldn't even tell me to my face."

Sophie had nothing to say about that. He was right. That was wrong. She knew that and she knew that then as well. But she also didn't know what else to do.

"See, still have nothing to say," Craig said and threw the shell in his hand into the water. "Well have a good fucking life then. Since it's so great now. Philadelphia, living the high life and forgetting about everything else."

"It's not that great, you know." Sophie snapped without thinking. "Do you honestly think that my mom isn't the same heartless bitch that she always has been?"

"You still left though! That's not my fault that you chose her. You left me, left Rosie and you left Julia." Craig said and glared down at her. "But you'll come back after she dies. Saying you care and all that shit."

"How dare you! I do care!" she yelled and then took a deep breath. This was getting out of hand. It didn't matter what she said to him, it was always going to come back to that. And, he was right. She shouldn't have just left.

"You're right," Sophie said and shook her head. "I shouldn't have just left. That's on me. But do you know what it's like to have someone you love so much look at you and not know your name because they are so high or drunk? It hurts. But then, when they aren't high…they are everything that you wanted. They care about you, they make you laugh and they just…love you. But then, they become this other person and suddenly, you don't exist in their world anymore."

Craig watched as tears filled her eyes. "Soph..."

"Then, they start becoming that person more and more often and you wonder where you're at in their life now," she continued, holding up her hand to silence him. "So yeah...you're right. I shouldn't have left like that. That's one me and I am sorry that I hurt you like that. But how you hurt me? That's on you. All I ever wanted was to be with you. You. Not that other person. Just you. I wanted Belize and I wanted that life that we talked about. But you chose this life and I wasn't going to sit here and watch everything fall apart."

He watched as she just dropped her shoulders in defeat and just hastily wiped away the tear that fell down her cheek as she turned and walked away from him. He wanted to stop her, but didn't know what to say. He didn't know if there was anything he could say.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Guys! I would like to thank everyone for the follows, favorites and reviews. You are so great! I hope you enjoy the new chapter and please let me know what you think.**

 **Disclaimer: As always, I only own what you do not recognize. Everything else belongs to TNT and the wonderful writers of Animal Kingdom.**

* * *

 _(FLASHBACK)_

 _Walking into Smurf's house, Sophie rolled her eyes when she heard the loud music and yelling and screaming from the people outside partying. She had spent the majority of her day studying for finals and then the evening was spent working a shift at the diner for a co-worker. She was tired and just wanted to sleep._

 _"Hey, Soph!" Deran exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around the blonde on his lap. "Just in time for the fun. Craig's back there."_

 _Sophie nodded her head and moved to Craig's bedroom to deposit her bags and stopped in her tracks when she saw the amount of coke laying out. "Jesus….."_

 _Stalking over to the bed, she sealed the bags back up and put them back into the box although she was tempted to flush it all down the toilet. But nonetheless, she put the box back into the drawer and started to shut it. But what caught her eye was the second box, it was "their" money. The money that was being put back for Belize._

 _It was empty._

 _She glanced back at the box with all the coke and felt tears come to her eyes. "You son of a bitch…."_

 _Throwing the bedroom door open, she walked quickly down the hall and slammed the patio door open as everyone grew quiet as she stalked over to Craig and grabbed his arm. "We need to talk!"_

 _"Hey..hey…what the hell." he slurred and pulled his arm away but then smiled flirtatiously at her. "Hey..who are you?"_

 _She felt her heart catch and she just stared at him with surprised eyes. "What?"_

 _"Dude. It's Sophie. You know...your girlfriend," Baz said from next to Craig and then smirked at her. "He's pretty wasted, Soph."_

 _"Where's the money?" Sophie asked Craig with her hands on her waist. She wasn't finding any of this amusing. "Craig. Look at me. Where is the money?"_

 _"Marco! This is my girlfriend, Sophie. Come and meet her!" Craig called across the backyard, completely ignoring her._

 _"Craig!" Sophie yelled this time and caught his attention. "Where is the money from the black box?"_

 _"Oh shit! That money…right…so Marco brought this awesome shit from Mexico. It's the best coke I've ever had." Craig said, smiling down at her and she felt her heartbreak._

 _"I'll put it back though. I had to get it!" Craig continued and threw his arm over her shoulder and all she felt just frozen. Throwing his arm off her shoulder, she stormed back into the house and went to his bedroom. Pulling open the drawer, she grabbed the box of coke and took off to the bathroom. Emptying it all into the toilet, she flushed it and then sunk to bathroom floor against the door with her hands covering her face and crying. Later that night while Craig slept off his coke and alcohol high, she quietly packed up her stuff. Grabbing a pen from the dresser, she sat down in the chair and looked at him. At that moment, he looked like her Craig. Laying on his stomach, one arm dangling off the bed and the other outstretched. The one outstretched had been over her body earlier, holding her close. Always holding her close. But something was different this time. She had a decision to make._

 _Placing the paper on the book in her lap, she wrote her note._

 _"I can't do this anymore. I love you. But I can't love the person you are becoming. We used to have so many dreams, but the more and more we continue to live this life, those dreams just keep fading. Please keep yourself safe, and please….find help."_

 _She walked over to the bed and gently pushed his hair back and leaned down and kissed his temple. "Bye Craig."_

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

"I was thinking Seattle. It's still on the West coast and I'll see you far more often." Sophie explained later that evening as she sat on the couch in Rosie's living room. After the beach confrontation with Craig, Sophie had made it back to Rosie's in record timing, took a shower, had a decent cry, drank some wine and then made up her mind that she needed to leave Oceanside. By the time Rosie had gotten home, Sophie already had a place picked out and was looking for an apartment.

"Why not San Diego?" Rosie asked as she returned to the room, handing Sophie a cup of tea. "It's a lot closer."

Sophie took a drink of the tea and looked up at her grandma's hopeful face. "San Diego would nice."

"Yes! Then I could come to visit you. And you love California. There are plenty of other places here to live than rainy Seattle." Rosie reasoned and Sophie had to nod in agreement. She was right. California had so many opportunities and places to go that weren't Oceanside, and she wouldn't have to worry about Craig. Not that she had to worry anyway. But most of all, she wouldn't have to go back to Philadelphia, she wouldn't have to see her mother and she wouldn't have to worry about Jack.

She did have to worry about him and the further she was from him, the better off she was.

* * *

Craig didn't even care what they were talking about as Nicky's dad stood outside with Baz. He just stared out the window with Pope and Deran. Smurf stood on the other side of them just doing her normal thing and Craig just wanted out of there.

"We have company." Deran huffed in annoyed as he looked up at the cameras. "What the hell is she doing here?"

They all turned their heads and saw Nicky at the gate as Smurf clenched her jaw. "The last thing we need is to have Nicky find her dad here. Craig, go get rid of her."

Craig looked over at Smurf and scowled. "What? Why me?"

"She's a teenage girl, baby. You…." Smurf started and he shook his head and grabbed his jacket.

"No. She's J's girlfriend. She's not my problem." he snapped and walked passed Smurf, leaving all of them staring at him in surprise as he left the house with a slam to the door.

"What the hell is his problem?" Smurf said as she crossed her arms and looked at Deran. "Go get rid of Nicky and go find your brother. Make sure his head is in the right place."

Deran rolled his eyes and looked at her incredulously. "Sophie's back, and they aren't exactly on speaking terms. What do you think his problem is?"

"They haven't been on speaking terms in 12 years. Make sure his head is in the game." Smurf ordered and then dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "Go and get rid of Nicky."

* * *

 _(FLASHBACK)_

 _Sophie dropped her school bags at the door and paused when she saw Rosie standing in the kitchen doorway talking to a brunette. Curiously creeping closer, Sophie felt her veins turn cold when she saw her mother standing there. Rosie caught her look and gave her an apologetic smile as Victoria turned around with a fake smile plastered on her face._

 _"Sophie!" Victoria said and walked over, hugging Sophie tightly as she kissed her cheek. "My girl, all grown up."_

 _"Hi, mom," Sophie said and hugged her back begrudgingly. "What are you doing here?"_

 _"Well, darling…" Victoria said and smiled at Sophie again. "Since your visit last summer, Mitchell and I believe it would be best for you to move to Philadelphia."_

 _Sophie stared at her dumbfounded._

 _"There are good schools, and since you are…." Victoria continued and Sophie watched as her mother began touching the jewelry she was wearing. Sophie looked down and saw the giant rock of an engagement ring sitting on Victoria's finger and then her eyes found Rosie's face. Rosie's stricken and worried face._

 _"No," Sophie said interrupting Victoria's false words and shaking her head. "I am not going to Philadelphia."_

 _"Sophia Charlotte. You will listen to me…" Victoria said as she put her hands on her hips. "I am your mother."_

 _There it was. There was the Victoria that Sophie knew best._

 _"I said no. I'm graduating next year, I have friends, I have a boyfriend, I have Rosie. I am NOT moving to Philadelphia." Sophie sternly told her mother._

 _"It's not really your choice. I am your mother, which makes me your guardian." Victoria snottily replied and looked at her nails. "We are leaving in two days."_

 _"No. If you make me go, I will just run away and you won't find me. I'd rather spend my day living in a car than staying in a room with you for one hour, let alone live with you." Sophie replied and then felt a sting across her face as Victoria slapped her._

 _"You ungrateful, hateful little…" Victoria snapped and then realized what was happening and gasped as she stood back. "Sophie…I'm so sorry.."_

 _Sophie slapped Victoria's hand away and looked at her with tear filled eyes. "I hate you."_

 _Victoria gasped as Rosie came up and stood between them. But it was too late, Sophie was grabbing her bag and walking out the front door despite the calls for her to stop. But she didn't stop, she just kept walking down the street to the only place at the moment that she wanted to be. The rain soaked through her clothes as she caught the chill from the wind. Thankfully the gate was open and she walked up to the front door and started banging on the door. Finally, she heard footsteps and then the door opened._

 _"Sophie? Oh my goodness…" Smurf exclaimed and pulled Sophie's shivering body inside and ran her hands up the sides of her arms. She reached forward and touched Sophie's burning cheek and then looked at Deran. "Go get your brother."_

 _Smurf led her into the room as Deran moved down the hall. Smurf grabbed a towel and began wiping her face and gently touched her cheek. "Honey, what happened?"_

 _"She is making me move to Philadelphia," Sophie whispered and looked at Smurf and started shaking her head. "I won't go. No, I'm not going. I'll run away."_

 _"Now, now…calm down. No one is making you go anywhere. Just calm down." Smurf said soothingly and about that time Sophie heard heavy footsteps and looked over and saw Craig moving down the hall quickly._

 _"What the hell happened? Are you okay? Who did this?" Craig asked quickly and touched her hot cheek. "Who the hell hit you?!"_

 _"Craig. Calm down." Smurf pointedly told him and then rubbed his shoulder. "Sophie's mother is in town."_

 _"That bitch," Craig whispered and then was sitting down next to Sophie as Smurf stood up. She felt his arm wrap around her shoulders and allowed herself to fall against him as he took the joint from Deran and handed it to her._

 _"Calm her down, I'm calling Rosie to let her know that she is safe and okay," Smurf said and then walked out of the room._

 _Sophie just lay against Craig, his body warming up her freezing one as he took a hit off the joint and handed it back to her. She shook her head and wrapped her arm around his middle. "I'm not going to Philadelphia. I'll run away first."_

 _"Whoa, whoa….no way. You're not going anywhere." Craig exclaimed as he sat up. "Is that what she wants?"_

 _Sophie nodded her head._

 _"Fuck that. We'll go somewhere else." Craig said and started to stand up. "We'll leave right now."_

 _"Really?" Sophie asked, perking up and sitting up. "Belize. We could go right now, tonight."_

 _"No." Smurf's voice came from the doorway and they both looked at her and Smurf gave Sophie a comforting smile. "Honey, Craig is 19 almost 20. You're not 18 yet. Your mother would have a field day with that."_

 _Sophie dropped her head, she knew Smurf was right._

 _"But you aren't going anywhere. Oceanside is your home." Smurf said and then reached down and grabbed her purse. "Stay here tonight, Rosie knows. I'll be back."_

 _Sophie and Craig watched as Smurf left the house and she turned her attention back to Craig. "I'll still run."_

 _"You won't have too, at least not is she has anything to say about it," Craig whispered and then pushed a lock of wet hair behind her ear. "But if we have too? We'll run."_

 _"Together?" Sophie questioned._

 _Craig nodded and drew her close to him and kissed her. "Hell yeah. I dare that bitch to try and stop us."_

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

Victoria had tried to take her away, but whatever Smurf did halted that from happening. It would be just a few years later though that Sophie would be knocking on Victoria's door with nowhere to go. Of course, Victoria ate that right up as Sophie just felt herself slowly pulling away. Leaving Oceanside and going to Philadelphia had been like a kick in the face for her and when Victoria and step-father picked her up from the airport all those years ago, it was just as cold as Sophie had feared it to be. The only thing Victoria had said to her was that she _"was surprised Sophie wasn't pregnant and addicted to cocaine."_

It was the nicest thing the woman had ever said to her.

But despite all that, Sophie went to college and got her nursing degree. Victoria may have still been the frigid bitch that she always was, but surprisingly Sophie had an ally in Mitchell. Her stepfather was a good man, who deserved a lot better. He was warm and funny. He treated Sophie good and was always there for her if she needed. He also understood the teetering relationship that she and her mother had as well. Sophie had been thankful for him, he played referee more times than he should have.

"I'm ordering pizza. Taco?" Rosie's voice came from the patio door as Sophie broke out of her reverie.

Turning to look at her, Sophie nodded and smiled. "Sounds good."

Rosie nodded and moved back into the house as Sophie turned back to look out at the yard. The evening air was growing cooler as she curled around herself and leaned back against the patio chair. Suddenly a blanket was draped over her and Rosie handed her a cup of steaming hot tea.

"Pizza will be about 30 minutes. What's going on with my girl?" Rosie asked as she sat down beside Sophie.

"I don't want to leave," Sophie admitted and leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "I just. I want to stay here and be in Oceanside."

"Then stay," Rosie said easily and took a drink of her tea. "My house is your house."

"You didn't hear our fight. It was bad." Sophie continued and turned her head towards Rosie. "I hurt him, and he hurt me right back."

"I shouldn't tell you this." Rosie started and sat forward. "But I'm going to and I will still stand with always saying that he's self-destructive. But, he did come looking for you."

Sophie sat up. "He did?"

"Right after you left." Rosie nodded. "He was in such a bad place."

 _(FLASHBACK)_

 _Rosie jumped when she heard a pounding on the front door. Grabbing her baseball bat from the closet, she cautiously went over and looked out the peephole and then sighed sadly. Opening the door, she took in the appearance of the man in front of her. "Craig, honey…"_

 _"Is she here? Did she come back?" Craig asked, slurring his words slightly. His eyes were glassy and he swayed slightly. He looked like he hadn't slept in days._

 _"Craig. Listen to me, you need to go home and take yourself a shower. Sober up and get some sleep." Rosie said and felt her heart break even more at his downcast eyes._

 _"I need her, Rosie. I fucked up. I messed up and now she's gone. I need her." Craig pleaded and dropped his shoulders. "I love her."_

 _"Then get better," Rosie whispered and saw Deran coming up the sidewalk._

 _"Come on man…" Deran said and nodded his head at Rosie as he grasped Craig's arm. "Sorry, Rosie."_

 _Rosie just shook her head and touched Craig's arm as she looked at Deran. "Get him some help."_

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

"Why are you telling me this?" Sophie exclaimed as she stood up and ran her hands through her hair. "Dammit, grandma."

"Language," Rosie said sternly and then her features softened. "Honey, I'm telling you this because you need to know. There was so much pain between the two of you. Pain that you've both held onto for all these years. The only way you will come through this and know what you want to do with your life is to come to terms with it. Forgive him. Forgive yourself and screw everyone else."

Sophie shook her head and closed her eyes. "It's not that easy."

"Sweetheart, it's not supposed to be easy." Rosie countered and grasped her arms. "Loving someone never is."

* * *

Deran got back into the truck and looked over at Craig, who was just staring out the window and not saying much. In fact, he had been pretty quiet all day. "Hey man, what's going on with you today?"

"Nothing," Craig muttered and continued to stare out the window.

But Deran didn't believe him, not for one second. "Come on man…"

"I saw her," Craig confessed and looked over at Deran. "Couple of days ago at the beach, we got into it."

"Oh…" Deran said, unable to find any words.

"Did you know that I got so shit-faced one time that I forgot her name? Oh, and that I made her feel like she didn't belong anymore?" he asked and Deran shook his head. Craig just laughed and nodded. "Yeah. I made her feel like that."

"Dude, you were like 21." Deran tried to explain. "And pretty wasted."

"What did I do?" Craig asked and Deran remained silent. "Come on, man."

"You were pretty wasted and just didn't know her name. She also found out about the money." Deran explained and Craig gave him a confused look as Deran shook his and sighed. "The money for Belize. You bought coke from Marco with it."

"She never told me that," Craig whispered and looked down. "I fucking did that?"

Deran just nodded.

"Oh fuck," Craig mumbled and leaned his head back against the headrest. "Man, I did this to her. She hated her fucking mom. I mean hated her. Victoria put her through the ringer and I just pushed her right to her. She would rather live around her mother than stay with me."

"Then why don't you talk to her? Don't blame her for shit that she had no choice in doing. Now you know what happened. Make it right." Deran said and then suddenly they heard beeping. "Shit, it's the GPS."

Craig grabbed the tablet from the dash and handed it to Deran as he pushed their conversation about Sophie into the back of his mind. They had a job to finish and then he would make things right.

* * *

Later that evening, Rosie had left Sophie to her own devices while she went to bingo. After that afternoon discussion with Rosie, Sophie had spent most of her evening just thinking. Rosie wasn't wrong. In fact, everything she said was absolutely true. She had been living in the past for the better part of the last few years and all of the pent-up hurt and anger towards Craig and their entire situation ate at her like nothing. All she wanted was a fresh start, and a reason to be happy with everything.

So, by the time evening rolled around…Sophie had made up her mind. The first thing she was going to do the next day was track Craig down and talk to him. Just talk and then she was going to start the process of getting her nursing license in California. After that, she had already had an appointment to meet with a realtor at a condo she had found. It was going to be okay.

"So, you're sure about this?" Casey's voice came over the FaceTime call they were on. Casey had been Sophie's best friend since she had moved to Philadelphia and when things went from bad to worse because of incidents out of Sophie's control…it had been Amy that let her live with her and gave her a job.

"Yes," Sophie replied matter of factly. "I'm absolutely sure."

A genuine smile broke out on Casey's face and she nodded. "FINALLY! Although I'm very sad you won't be back. But, now…I can come to visit."

"Of course you can." Sophie laughed and took a drink of her tea. "Can you do me a favor though?"

"Yes…absolutely," Casey said quickly.

"I need you to box up my stuff and put it in my storage unit. At some point, I'll be back out there to get it. But only after I get everything in line here." Sophie explained. "And please make sure my mom nor Jack know anything about this."

Casey nodded. "They will not find out anything."

"Thanks, Case…." Sophie replied and then started to say something when she heard a knock on the front door. Looking at the clock, she saw it was close to 7:30. "Hey, someone is at the door. I'll let you go. Talk to you later."

"Okay! Love you!" Casey replied and they disconnected. Sophie stood up and moved towards the front door quickly and didn't think about looking out the window and wished she had when she opened the door and felt her veins grow cold.

"Hey, Soph…" Jack's said as he flashed her a bright smile. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

Sophie stared at him for a second before walking out the front door and closing the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"Enough games, Soph. It's time to come home. You've said goodbye to your friend. Now it's time to stop messing around." Jack said and then smiled. "Victoria misses you."

"I'm not coming back," she said and leveled her gaze at him. "I'm sorry you came all the way out here to go back empty-handed. But that is exactly what will be happening."

"Sophie." Jack started and she saw his demeanor change as he took a deep breath to calm down. "I have already talked to the board at the hospital. They are willing to give you your old job back. You're an exceptional nurse, don't be ridiculous about not accepting."

Sophie scoffed and shook her head. "No."

"Dammit, Sophie!" Jack bellowed and then took another deep breath. "Sophie, we can work on us."

"There is no "us" Jack. There never was. I thought we were friends, we had one dinner date and suddenly you are showing up at dinner parties at Victoria's house. I'm sorry that you thought that we were more than that. But we weren't."

"Come home," Jack said and tried to grab for her hand, but she crossed her arms.

"I am home," Sophie said and suddenly, it was like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. She was home.

Jack closed his eyes and laughed as he shook his head. "Crack heads and drug dealers. Do you want to live the same life you were living before? I helped you. I helped you get you…"

"I helped myself. You didn't do anything. I put myself through college. I studied, I took the test…and I got my own job. You didn't do any of that. So don't you dare try to say I needed you to save me. I saved myself." Sophie snapped at him and pointed to his rental. "Get in your car and leave. Tell Victoria to stop worrying about me and you need to stop worrying about me. Move on Jack. Find your own happiness."

She went to turn to head back into the house when he suddenly grabbed her and spun her around and held her against him. "I am not going to tell you again. Get your shit and get in the car. We are leaving."

"We are not going anywhere but you are," Sophie said and glared at him. "Get your hands OFF of me."

"This isn't how it ends. I won't go back empty-handed. I'll drag you kicking and screaming if I have too." Jack threatened and smiled at her. "I told your mother I would."

"Let go," Sophie said again, this time wincing when his grip tightened.

"Dude, you got like 2 seconds to get your fucking hands off of her." a voice came from behind them and Sophie felt a sense of relief overwhelm her as Jack suddenly let her go and she fell back against the door and he turned around to see Craig standing at the end of the sidewalk with his arms crossed. "When someone tells you to let them go. You fucking do it."

* * *

What a fucking evening. First, he and Deran had spent the better part of their afternoon sliding around in the back of a truck getting the money from the military base job and then when all they had wanted to was hide some back from themselves, Smurf ripped them a new one for the 12 grand he had stashed in his room. Then, to top it all off….cops raided the house and his ass almost got arrested.

Craig just wanted to get shit-faced drug and high.

But he something to do first, he had to talk to Sophie and he had to be clear when he did it. Deran was right. They just needed to talk and he needed to apologize to her. It was the only way he'd ever find peace. Grabbing his jacket, he headed out the door and walked the distance to Rosie's house but noticed another unfamiliar car sitting in front of the house and when he rounded the corner, his blood boiled.

He watched as she started to turn to move back into the house when some guy reached out and grabbed her arm.

Craig heard the guy's voice angrily talk. _"I am not going to tell you again. Get your shit and get in the car. We are leaving."_

 _"WE are not going anywhere but you are,"_ Sophie replied and glared at the guy. _"Get your hands OFF of me."_

Craig almost smiled. She was still fiery.

 _"This isn't how it ends. I won't go back empty-handed. I'll drag you kicking and screaming if I have too."_ the guy threatened and smiled at her. _"I told your mother I would."_

Victoria Fucking-Carlyle had been one of the first people Craig could actually say he hated. The woman was awful and the look of what was happening in front of him seemed just like something she'd do. When he heard Sophie tell the guy to let her go once more, he knew it was his turn.

"Dude, you got like 2 seconds to get your fucking hands off of her," Craig said as cracked his knuckles. "When someone tells you to let them go. You fucking do it."

* * *

 **A/N: I realize that I do a lot of flashbacks and now that we are starting to get around to this part of Craig/Sophie's story, I won't be doing many. I just want to set a story up for them in their youth. Also, you can probably tell that I opted for NOT having a Craig/Nicky storyline in this. One, I was never a fan of it anyway on the show. Two, Craig is like 32-33 in this story and the idea of him and Nicky having any kind of a relationship is just weird. So, it's not happening. :0)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! First, I am so sorry for how long it's been since I have updated. It's been a busy couple of months. I went on vacation, and then just life in general. Secondly, THANK YOU so much for the reads, reviews, likes, follows and favorites. I appreciate you all. Hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Dude, you got like 2 seconds to get your fucking hands off of her." Craig's voice said from behind her and Jack. Sophie closed her eyes in relief when Jack let go of her arm and stepped away.

"I'm sorry, who are you? And how is this any of your business?" Jack said as he turned around, puffing his chest out until he saw Craig and he immediately stepped back.

"Not so big now, are you? Look, man, it doesn't matter who the fuck I am. Back up." Craig threatened. Sophie looked at the difference between the two men. Jack stood at around 5'10, had a pair of slacks on and matched it with a button-down white shirt. He was well put together and looked like a businessman. Then there was Craig, he towered over Jack. Which wasn't hard to do at 6'4. His long hair was pulled back and he was wearing dark jeans and a white t-shirt. She could see the bottom portions of his tattoos on his arm and he just looked like…Craig. One of them appeared more confident than the other, and that person wasn't Jack.

"I'm just having a discussion with my girlfriend, so if you don't mind," Jack said cordially.

Craig shook his head and smiled. "I don't give a shit who she is to you. She said to let her go, and that means you fucking let her go."

Sophie stepped forward and put her hand out, her fingers touching the fabric of his t-shirt. "Craig…it's okay."

"Craig?" Jack asked, realization hitting him. "You're Craig? Victoria has told me about you."

"Believe it all. It's probably true," Craig said but still didn't back away. "Just leave, man."

"How you pushed her out, made her feel worthless. Yeah, I can see that. Chose the drugs over her? I get it…." Jack said and then suddenly he was on the ground as blood poured out of his nose.

"No! Stop!" Sophie said and instead of checking on Jack, she pushed Craig back. "He's not worth it. It's not worth it."

"You never would have given the life she deserved!" Jack bellowed and struggled to stand up. "You're worthless."

"Shut up, Jack!" Sophie yelled and stood in front of Craig. "You don't even get it. At all."

"Sophia," Jack said and took a deep breath, wiping his bloody nose with the back of his hand. "I'm not going to tell you again. Get in the fucking car!"

He didn't even have a moment before her hand connected with his face and he staggered back.

"Listen to me, and listen very closely. You don't EVER talk to me like that." Sophie snapped and stared at Jack. "Leave. Right now."

"You stupid bit…," Jack said and started to advance on her and suddenly stopped.

"Back the fuck up, man," Craig said as he pushed Sophie behind him and stared down at Jack menacingly. "Get the hell out of here."

Jack backed away and staggered away as he wiped more blood off his face. He got into his car and then squealed his tires as he sped down the street. Sophie stood still behind Craig for a few seconds and he finally turned around and let out a breath.

"Son of a bitch…" he asked and shook his head. "Who the hell is that prick?"

"Philadelphia," Sophie answered and gave him a tired smile. "I told you it wasn't all fun."

"Shit," Craig whispered and ran a hand through his hair. "You okay?

Sophie nodded and rubbed her hand. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thank you."

"You hit him pretty hard…" Craig said, smirking at her but then grew serious. "But seriously, you're okay?"

"I'm okay. I promise." Sophie replied and they stood in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

Craig stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around. "Wanna go get something to eat?"

"Yeah," she answered and then smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

* * *

"So, you're mom's still a bitch?" Craig asked as he handed her the basket of fries and her hamburger and sat down across the table.

"Oh definitely. That guy, his name is Jack. He's a pharmaceutical rep that always came to the hospital that I used to work at." Sophie started and then paused as she saw him catch her confession.

"Used to?" Craig asked and paused in putting the french fry in his mouth. "Why aren't you there anymore?"

"Doesn't matter," she said, waving him off. "Anyway, he kind of started showing up and we dinner once and she loved him. Obviously, I should've used that as my warning to run far, far away. He started becoming weird after that."

"He followed you here?" Craig asked as he took a drink of his soda.

Sophie shrugged and then looked down. "Yeah. I guess. He's been known to do that."

This caught Craig's attention and she watched as he tensed up.

"It's why I don't at the hospital anymore." she continued quietly and looked at him. "He started showing up all time, waiting for me to get off work. Followed me home."

Craig looked at her in surprise. "Soph…"

"It's okay though, it's under control," she replied quickly and felt the pain in her chest when he said her name the way he did.

"He just followed you here and tried to force you into the vehicle. How is that having it under control?" Craig said incredulously and shook his head. "That's not having…"

"I didn't have any other options, okay?" Sophie snapped and stared at him, sighing as she relaxed. "What am I suppose to do? I have tried everything. I've been polite, I've been stern and I've even gone as far as talking to the police. But he just keeps showing up."

Craig's stare could have burned a hole through the table. "You haven't tried me."

"No," Sophie said and shook her head. "Absolutely not. I don't need any help."

They sat in silence for a little bit and she took a deep breath and looked at him. "Craig…"

"I'm sorry." he interrupted her and pushed his now empty plate away. "For everything that happened. I'm sorry that I made you feel the way you did. I'm a fuck up, I know that. I'm sorry for making you feel like you meant nothing to me. You did. You still do. Fuck, and the money."

Sophie stared at him and watched as he shook his head and looked down.

"I ruined it. It was all my fault." he finished and then raised his head to meet her eyes. "All you wanted was Belize, and I fucked that up. I'm sorry I let you down."

He moved to get up and threw a $20 on the table and left the diner. Grabbing her bag she followed him and once she was outside and grabbed his arm. He turned around and she did the only thing she could think of. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and hugged him tightly. For once in 12 years, she felt protected. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair as they just stood there. People walked around them, but they didn't care. They were just two souls that were slowly healing.

"I want to be your friend," Sophie whispered as they started to pull apart, but as she kept her arms around his waist and stared up at him, she felt all those emotions from the earlier years. He still smelled the same, he felt the same. He was still the same Craig.

"Yeah…me too," Craig said as he just stared down at her. All he would have to do is lower his head and kiss her. They were that close, they were so close. She could feel his breath lightly across her cheek and felt his fingers subconsciously gripped her shoulders.

"Craig, we can't do this," Sophie whispered and put her hand on his chest.

Snapping out of the peaceful moment, he stepped back and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, you're right. 12 years is a long time. Things change. People change. Shit, I gotta go. Deran's probably wondering where the hell I am. I'll see you around."

"Craig, wait…" Sophie said, but he had already turned and was walking away. Sighing, she dropped her shoulders and started walking in the opposite direction when her cell phone rang. Stopping, she answered it and was shocked when she heard the voice on the other end.

* * *

"Obviously we have to wait till your license is transferred. I have already made some phone calls so it won't be long." Celeste, the HR director at the hospital explained to Sophie as she handed her over an ID card and smiled at her. "We welcome you with open arms."

Sophie smiled and took the card from her. "Thank you so much. I'm glad to be a part of the team."

Celeste smiled and after a few moments of conversation, she led her out of the HR department and directed her on how to leave. Sophie could barely contain her excitement as she almost skipped out of the hospital, it was only a matter of time before she could finally make things go her way.

"I heard rumors. But I didn't want to believe them, because how could my best friend from all those years ago REALLY be back." a voice from behind Sophie said.

Freezing, she turned around and saw Margot Jones, well Nichols now, standing there. The two of them had been best friends all through high school. In fact, Margot and her now-husband Shawn had always been the couple that Sophie and Craig hung out with. Shawn and Craig were the same age and had been friends as well.

"Margot…," Sophie said and the two stared at each other for a minute before meeting quickly and hugging each other tightly.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you," Margot exclaimed and then hit her in the arm when they pulled away from each other.

"Ouch!" Sophie and looked at Margot with wide eyes. "What the hell?"

"You haven't called me in 12 years. You left me too, Soph. We were best friends. You missed my wedding, my kids being born..." Margot said and then took a deep breath. "Crap, wait…no this isn't how I want to do this. I'm sorry."

Sophie nodded. "I understand Margot. Let's just..."

"Look, I'm taking lunch…wanna go? If you're not busy?" Margot asked hopefully. "I just want to catch up. Please?"

"Yeah…let's go," Sophie answered with a smile and Margot nodded. She motioned for Sophie to give her a minute and then the two found themselves walking out of the hospital.

* * *

"You're not even into this anymore. Something's different," Renn complained as she dropped the baggy on the table and looked at Craig with her arms crossed. "What is even going on with you lately?"

Craig looked up at her and saw her pulling on a different shirt and shook his head. "Nothing."

"Yeah, you're a terrible liar. You're not coming around as much, and when you do….it's just to buy something and then leave. Is there someone else?" Renn asked and stared at him.

Was there someone else? Well, that was a loaded fucking question.

"No, there isn't anyone else. What does it even matter? I thought we had an agreement." Craig asked, and then dropped his shoulders. "Shit, I didn't mean….."

"You didn't mean that you come over here, buy drugs, we screw and then you leave? I'm not some cheap whore, Craig." Renn spat and walked over to the door. "Maybe you should just go."

Craig rolled his eyes as he stood up. "I'm not calling you a cheap whore, good grief."

"But you're not NOT calling me one. Go. I got shit to do anyway." Renn finished and he just rolled his eyes and left without another word. She slammed the door behind him and he ran a hand through his hair. He had to get his shit together. But since about 5 days ago, he couldn't.

He was back to square one. He closed his eyes, and there Sophie was. He couldn't get high, because if he did….there she fucking was. Every single damn time.

And today, touching her. Feeling her body against his flooded his mind with so many emotions he had no idea what to do about it.

He wasn't over her. Hell would have to freeze over and it would still a battle.

* * *

"This is Liam, he's 4 and this little lady is Eden…she's 1," Margot said happily as she scrolled through pictures on her phone, showing Sophie pictures of her kids.

"Oh, and this is Shawn now," Margot added and presented a family picture of four happily smiling people.

"Margot, they are beautiful," Sophie replied as she smiled at her high school best friend. They had been inseparable after they met their sophomore year. Julia had started drifting down the road of drugs and wasn't around as much at that point. But the first day of her sophomore year, Sophie had found Margot. And with that…Margot had met Shawn, one of Craig's best friends.

 _FLASHBACK_

 _"I'll pick you up after school," Craig said as he pulled the black Camaro in front of the school and leaned over to grab her bag from the back seat and handing it to her. "Or you could just come with me."_

 _"Or you could just go to school…" Sophie teased but knew better. He had_ quit _the year before, he'd planned on getting his GED but nonetheless, he was done._

 _Craig gave her a deadpanned look and she leaned over and kissed him. "I'm kidding. I'll be waiting."_

 _"Have a good day," he answered as they parted and he gave her a smirk. "See you later."_

 _"Bye," Sophie replied and got out of the car and slung her bag over her shoulder. She heard him pull away and smiled as she made her way up the sidewalk. Feeling eyes on her, Sophie looked over to the group of "mean girls" and saw them staring at her snottily. She didn't have many friends, and the ones she did have weren't actually in school. But these girls were led by one person. Taylor Reynolds._

 _And that girl liked Craig. A lot._

 _Everyone knew the Cody family, and everyone wanted to be a part or something of the family. Taylor Reynolds couldn't stand the fact that "she knew Craig a lot longer and he starts seeing some transfer student that was an uppity east coast bitch."_

 _Her words. Not Sophie's._

 _Nonetheless, so far the two years they had been together had only made Taylor hate Sophie just as much. But, it also made Sophie untouchable. No one bothered her, they knew if they did. He'd be there, without any words. He had a reputation and it was a correct one._

 _It was a quiet world, albeit a lonely world though._

 _"Hi, can you help me?" a voice called from the right of Sophie._

 _Tightening her hold on her bag, Sophie looked over and saw a blonde standing there. "Umm..sure?"_

 _"I'm Margot Jones." she started and came forward and pulled out a paper. "I'm just looking for Mr. Donaldson's class. I'm new and this is a big school."_

 _"You can walk with me, that's where I'm going," Sophie replied and smiled at the relief that filled Margot's face. "I'm Sophie by the way."_

 _"Nice to meet you," Margot said and smiled at her. Together they walked to Donaldson's class and then throughout the day figured out they had most of their classes together, by the end of the day Sophie and Margot were walking to the parking lot of the high school and Sophie stopped when she saw the Camaro parked in a familiar spot. With no Craig. She knew was this meant, but she also knew that she needed to keep her mouth shut too. She'd just go over to Smurf's like she always did and wait there._

 _"Do you need a ride home?" Sophie asked her and began walking toward the vehicle. "I can drop you off."_

 _"This is your car?" Margot asked in surprise and waited as Sophie went to the normal "hiding" place and pulled the keys out. She and Craig had a system with this stuff._

 _Unlocking the car, she leaned over and unlocked the passenger side. "No, it's my boyfriend's. Get in."_

 _Without much fuss, Margot climbed in and buckled the old time seatbelt. The two talked adamantly as Sophie drove through Oceanside showing Margot all the spots to hang out and finally they came to her street._

 _"Thanks for the ride, Sophie. I hope we can be good friends." Margot said as she grabbed her bag and got out of the vehicle. "See you tomorrow?"_

 _"Yeah! Definitely. I'll be here to pick you up." Sophie replied and Margot flashed a genuine smile before walking into her house and closing the door._

 _From that moment forward, the two had been best friends._

 _END OF FLASHBACK_

"It all changed after you left," Margot said quietly and looked up from her salad. "I missed you. Things just changed, so much. Craig stopped coming around, and that really hurt Shawn."

"He did?" Sophie asked in surprise. Craig and Shawn had been best friends before Sophie and Craig were even a thing.

"Yeah. When we got married, Shawn tried to reach out to him. Really wanted him to be in the wedding, but he never reached back. About a month after the wedding….$5000 showed up in our mailbox in an envelope. No note, no nothing. But we figured it was Craig. When you left, he just….well, I don't how to explain it." Margot started and then shrugged. "They run Oceanside, Soph."

She knew this.

"I mean, Smurf donates to everything. Surfing competition, the hospital. Everything. In turn, nobody disrupts that. A silence of who they are is expected in return." Margot continued and then smiled warmly at her. "I know why you left and I understand. If you hadn't. You'd be there too. You know you would. But I am so glad that you are back."

The two finished lunch and parted on promises of more lunches and dinners. But now, Sophie was just as worried as before. She figured that the Cody family would only become more powerful, but at what cost? So far, they seemed to be doing well from themselves. But with her own situation and the constant buzzing from her cell phone in her purse the entire time she and Margot were eating, could they help?

* * *

"Grandma!?" Sophie yelled out as she opened the front door to Rosie's house. Silence filled the house as Sophie just put her stuff down and walked into the kitchen. On the fridge door was a note.

 _"At bingo. Don't wait up. Jean Cartwright is going down. I left you food in the microwave. Love you!"_

Sophie laughed to herself and rolled her eyes as she walked over to the fridge and opened the door and saw the leftovers on the shelf. Reaching in, she grabbed the Tupperware bowl and stood back. But suddenly felt a chill run down her back. Biting her lip, she felt someone in the room with her and tried to keep calm.

"How'd you get in here?" Sophie questioned evenly and started to reach for the wine bottle on the top shelf of the fridge and suddenly Jack slammed the door shut and pushed her against the counter.

"Where's Craig now? You should've fucking left with me. What don't you get? You. Are coming back to Philadelphia." Jack said and trapped her between his arms. "I love you. I want us to be together."

"I don't love you. I don't want to be with you. What part of THAT don't you get?" Sophie said and saw the dark look in his eyes and felt his hand squeezing her arm tightly. "Let me go. You are hurting me."

"Sophie. I'm done messing around. Get your stuff, we are leaving. Tonight." Jack continued and surprisingly released his hold on her slightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Tightening her hold on the wine bottle, she took a shaky breath. "Jack, please move back."

"Come on, let's get your stuff," he replied and gripped the top of her arm. He started to pull her before she raised her hand and immediately he grasped her tightly and slammed her against the wall. She cried out in pain and slid down the wall before he jerked her back up. Pulling her down the hall, he pushed her into her room but before he got her inside, she grabbed the door, halting his movements. He turned around to grab her again, but she kneed him in the groin and he fell to the ground in pain. Moving towards the bathroom door, she reached for the door handle only to have him grab her ankle.

"STOP FIGHTING ME!" Jack snarled and trapped her underneath him as she slammed onto the floor.

"Fuck. You." she spat in his face and slammed the palm of her hand into his nose. He cried out and staggered back as she used her feet to push him back. With enough time, she scrambled into the bathroom and pushed the door shut and locked it. Tears streaming down her face, along with blood from her nose.

"Open the fucking door!" Jack yelled and began pounding his hand on the solid oak door. "Open the fucking door, Sophie!"

Fishing her phone out of her pocket, she stopped when she saw a name programmed in there. He must have done it when she wasn't looking.

Craig.

Hitting his name, she put the phone to her ear and jumped when Jack slammed his hand again on the door. "Please pick up, please pick up."

A few more rings and she could have yelled in relief when he finally answered. "Yeah? Who is this?"

Sophie felt more tears stream down her face. "I need your help."

* * *

He was about to walk back into Renn's house, apologize for some shit he didn't know he would be apologizing for when his cell phone started ringing. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled it out and saw an unfamiliar number. Almost rejecting the call, Craig felt something tell him to answer. "Yeah? Who is this?"

"I need your help." a tearful voice came through the speaker. Craig froze, immediately recognizing the voice and then suddenly he could hear yelling in the background.

"Soph, where are you?" Craig quickly asked as he turned and went back to his Ducati. Renn gave him a confused look, but he didn't care. How on earth could he care about anything else at this very moment?

"Rosie's. I don't know how he got in. I'm locked in the bathroom." Sophie tearfully explained and then more shouting came from the background.

"I'm on my way. Just stay there…uhhh….stay in there." he said and could hear her start to cry. "Soph. I need you to calm down, I gotta get off the phone. Okay? Just calm down. I'm coming."

"Hurry up," she whispered and then the phone went silent.

"Fuck…come on, answer," Craig said as he immediately dialed another number and sighed in relief when a surprised voice answered. "Get to Rosie Clarke's house, right now."

Hanging up the phone, Craig put his helmet on and sped off down the road. He zoomed through traffic and made it to the street in record timing and J was just driving up.

"Craig, what the hell is going on?" J asked but he didn't answer and walked passed the kid. Pushing the front door open, Craig could hear Jack shouting down the hall and rounded the corner and saw the man punching the bathroom door so hard that blood was running down his hand. Grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, Craig yanked him hard and threw him into the wall. Jack slammed his head against the wall and looked up in surprise.

"Get her out of there," Craig demanded of J, and then looked down at Jack. "I thought I fucking told you to leave?"

* * *

The banging stopped and then more shouting stopped before the doorknob was being jiggled. She pushed herself away from the door and stared at the doorknob for a moment.

"Sophie? Open the door. It's okay." J's calm voice came from the other side and she sighed in relief before crawling over and unlocking the lock. J looked at her in surprise and put his hand out to help her stand. "It's okay. You're okay."

She saw Jack staring in fear at the much larger man who had him by the throat and trapped against the wall. Craig turned his head to look at her and his face dropped. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and knew what he saw. Dried blood was caked around her nose and a bruise was forming on her cheek from where she hit the floor.

"You son of a fucking bitch." Craig breathed out and dragged Jack down the hall before slamming him against the floor and repeatedly punching him. J tried to grab his arms, but Craig was too strong. She knew this was bad, he didn't fight a lot. But when he started, it was always hard to get him to stop.

Jack cried out as blood gushed from his nose and pooled onto the tiled floor.

"You're going to kill him, Craig! Stop!" J said and grabbed Craig's arm again, only to be harshly pushed back.

Sophie walked forward and grabbed Craig's arm before he landed another punch. "Please stop."

J watched in surprise as just her simple touch stopped Craig. Craig stood up to his full height, towering completely over all of them and looking more violent and more dangerous than J had ever seen him.

"You don't look at her, think about her, call her….really, forget she even exists. I see you in Oceanside again?" Craig said as he gripped Jack by his jaw. "I'll kill you."

Jack didn't say anything as he was pushed toward the door. J watched him scramble out and get into a white vehicle before peeling away. J looked at Craig and then at Sophie, who had blood on her face. He grabbed a towel and wetted it before handing it to her.

"How did he get in?" Craig asked and then looked at Sophie, who just dabbed the wet towel to her face. "Soph?"

"I don't know. Probably...her key outside or something," Sophie said and dropped her shoulders as she looked around the house. "I gotta get this cleaned up before Rosie's gets home."

"No, I'll do it," J said and immediately went to start fixing the chairs as Craig crossed the floor. J watched them out of the corner of his eye and noticed how everything around them seemed to calm when they were in the general vicinity of one another.

"Come on, J will take care of this. I'll take you down to the house. You can get cleaned up." Craig said, more gently than J ever saw from the man. He'd never really had a conversation with Craig since he moved into Smurf's house. But he was always curious about him. There had to be more than just some drugged out muscle man. Now? J was finally starting to see that.

"I'll call Deran and have him come over and help you." Craig said and J nodded as he watched Craig turn back to Sophie and led her out of the house.

* * *

It had only been a few minutes since Craig and Sophie left that Deran pulled up in the Scout, he stopped in his tracks when he saw the state of the kitchen. "Jesus. Is she okay? Where is that asshole at?"

"Craig took her down to the house. He's gone, Craig almost beat him to death." J explained and wiped up more blood before reclining back on his heels. "I've never seen him like that before."

"It's there. Look, they got a lot of history. Deep history, man. Deep." Deran explained and completely genuine. He leaned down and started helping J clean. "He loved her more than drugs once. Had it not been for the drugs, they'd still be together and wouldn't be in all this shit."

"He chose the drugs though, just like my mom did," J said and looked down at the bloody towel. "They always do."

"Yeah…Janine Cody's kids do. You think she's going to help them get clean?" Deran said and laughed. "You don't get it, man. All these years, Craig does these jobs the best he does because of the drugs. Smurf has him right where she wants him."

J stopped cleaning and stared at Deran with a curious expression. "Did she expect Sophie to come back though? What does she think about that?"

"I'm sure she's fucking terrified. Because Smurf may have him with the drugs. But Sophie? Sophie's always had a bigger pull. He loves her man, he always has and he always will. It tore him apart when she left and Smurf said all the right things. He wanted to forget her. But…he never did." Deran said honestly and then grimaced when he threw another bloody rag in the trash. "Let's get this shit done before Rosie has to come home."

* * *

Sophie walked out of the bathroom and looked down the hall, everything so familiar. Her feet moved her towards one room and she stopped at the door and looked in. Craig sat on the edge of his bed, a box next to him but the cocaine still in the bag he was holding between his fingers. He looked up when he felt her presence and sighed. "I didn't."

"I know," she replied and folded her arms across her body. "Thank you."

Craig nodded. But still didn't look directly at her.

"I thought I could handle it. Moving didn't help, he still found me. But I never thought…..I never thought he'd do that." Sophie said and just wanted him to look at her. "I also called Rosie. She's staying in a hotel tonight. I'm going to have a locksmith change all the locks. Though, I don't think he'll be back."

"That's a good idea." Craig finally responded and sat the bag of cocaine back in the box.

"The last two years…fuck it, the last twelve years have been so miserable. I tried to move forward, but I never could. I just missed Oceanside. I missed everything." Sophie continued and tentatively walked towards him. Sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him, she looked at his bruised knuckles. "Why did you stop talking to Shawn?"

"It hurt," Craig answered almost inaudibly and then made a fist before running a hand through his hair. "Him and Margot. It made me think about you, and I didn't want to think about you. I just wanted to forget it all."

That kind of hurt her heart a little.

"But I couldn't. I thought about you all the time. So then, I just turned to all this," Craig continued and motioned around his room and then the box next to him. "It numbed it enough to get by."

Sophie looked over at him and took in his profile. He hadn't changed much over the years, he was bigger. Stronger. His arms were huge, and his shoulders were wide and strong. Despite the hard-partying lifestyle, he still looked good. He still smelled good. A certain cologne and the ocean.

"I can't be your friend, Soph." Craig finally confessed and leveled his eyes onto her. "I can't. Not when I want more and I'm not going to push you. But I can't be…."

She leaned forward and kissed him. He jumped back in surprise but she just moved closer to him and stared into his blue eyes, and breathing deeply as she touched his lips. "Then don't."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hello? Anyone still here? Wow. It's been a while, with the show on hiatus and life in general…it's been hard to find moments to write on this. But here we are with a new chapter! I apologize for the break, but truly hope you enjoy this next chapter. I'm hoping to have another up by the end of the weekend and have so much planned for these two. Enjoy and please let me know what you think!**

* * *

Craig kissed her, dammit….he kissed the hell out of her.

Pulling her against him in an instance, Sophie tightened her hold on his shirt and just let him take control. Craig tangled his hands into Sophie's hair as he pushed her against the wall. Pulling away just slightly, he looked down at her and saw Sophie's green eyes staring at him, so tenderly. He remembered those eyes, he remembered how he could just lose himself in them. Even now, he still saw her eyes in every drug-induced haze. They had to stop because if they didn't, he'd never be able to stop. The world suddenly started spinning on the right axis the minute he felt her soft skin. Everything he had felt, every single dream he had the last twelve years, every time he thought about going to Philadelphia and finding her came rushing in at him like a flood. But this wasn't the way it was supposed to go. This wasn't fair to her.

Like Smurf once told him after Sophie had left; Sometimes things like this happen to show us where exactly our lives are supposed to go.

And this wasn't supposed to happen.

"We can't do this," Craig whispered, surprising her. He pushed her away gently and stood up. Running a hand through his hair, Craig started pacing back and forth. "We can't be together, Soph. I can't be your friend and we can't be together. You're just upset. But this isn't what should be happening. I can't be the person you need me to be, Soph and you can't be what I need you to be."

Sophie looked at him for a moment, her eyes brimming with tears. He felt pain hit him directly in his heart as she stared up at him with such a sad and lost look. Again, he hurt her.

"Soph…" Craig started to say, but she just shook her head and pushed past him. Turning around, he followed her quickly down the hall. "Sophie, wait!"

But she didn't the front door slammed in his face and she was gone.

"What the hell is going on?" Deran asked as he came in through the back, with J close behind. "Where is Sophie, is she okay?"

Craig just stared at the closed door and shook his head. "She's gone."

* * *

The evening breeze was almost chilly as Sophie pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her bent legs. She simply just sat on the large rock overlooking the ocean and saw people enjoying the last of the current day. Tomorrow, they'd all be back doing the same thing they were doing that day. A normal, everyday life.

"My mom used to bring me down here when I was a kid," a voice came from behind Sophie and without looking, she already knew who it was. J came to her side and lay his bike against the rock and climb on top next to her. "She said it's where she'd come when she needed to be free."

"We used to come here when we were kids," Sophie replied and looked over at him with a sad smile. "I miss her."

"I don't," J answered quickly and then shook his head and let out a sigh. "I mean, I do. I miss how she used to be. When she'd bring me here. When she was…almost normal."

Sophie nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I get that."

The two sat in silence for almost 5 minutes before J looked over and saw a lone tear running down Sophie's bruised cheek. "I'm sorry that they hurt you."

 _They._

"People hurt people all the time. It's the way the world is now. You know?" Sophie said and then looked at him and laughed softly. "But it fucking sucks to keep getting hurt."

J had to agree.

"Why did you come back to Oceanside?" he asked her as tossed a seashell back and forth in his hand. "Why do we keep coming back?"

Sophie didn't answer him for a few minutes and then finally, she stretched her legs out in front of her and reclined back on her arms. "It's the only place that I feel free."

J had to understand that too. That's one of the reason's they never left Oceanside.

"I'm sorry they hurt you too," Sophie said after a beat and then looked over at him and smiled sadly. "And I'm sorry about your mom."

"You know. I always wanted to figure out a way to help her. But it didn't matter what I did, she'd just go back to the drugs. But I saw you two this afternoon, I saw the way he looked at you," J said and then stood up and got his bike. "If anyone could save Craig from himself, it's you."

* * *

Craig stared at the drink in front of him, his cell phone next to him was going off but he didn't answer it. He knew there was text from Deran, Pope, Baz, and even Renn. But he didn't want to talk to any of them. He just wanted to keep drinking. The little bag of coke that he snorted shortly after Sophie left was leaving his system and everything started to come at him at once. He saw that look in her eyes when he "rejected" her and then the way she just left.

He caused her pain. Again.

But he had too, he knew that if he didn't stop her then he wouldn't be able to stop himself. He wanted her, hell he needed her. But this life wasn't what she needed. She had a good life, she had a good job and being with him would only ruin it. It ended up like it would have ended up those years ago. He couldn't change who he was, no matter how hard he tried.

"Hey, Craig…."

He looked up and saw Taylor Reynolds sauntering towards him. Her blonde hair was so bleached that it was almost white and her shirt pulled down so low that a person could almost see her entire chest. He remembered her from high school and he remembered how Sophie had hated her.

"Hey Taylor," he mumbled against the rim of his beer bottle. "What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out. I got some stuff, the back room is free." Taylor said and sat down. "Also, I heard Sophie is back in town by the way."

He did not want to do this right now.

"What do you want Taylor?" Craig snapped and looked up at her and shook his head. "I'm not in the mood for this shit."

"Why are so worked up about this? God Craig, it's ridiculous that she's back. It's not like she ever fit in, she was just some uppity bitch from the east coast. Now, mommy isn't paying for her shit anymore so she's crawling back. Figures." Taylor replied snottily and flipped her hair.

Craig stared at her incredulously. "Are we seriously having this conversation right now? We aren't in fucking high school Taylor. It's not her fault that you ended up working part-time in some sleazy ass bar."

Taylor looked at him with wide eyes and flipped him off before stalking away. Craig shook his head and went back to his beer. But 10 minutes later, he saw a guy walking toward him with Taylor following, a smug look on her face as she winked at him and crossed her arms.

"Fuck me…." Craig mumbled to before standing up and taking a quick swig of beer. He barely felt the impact of the first punch as the guy landed a nice left hook to his jaw. Craig balled up his fist and punched the man in the face before they both crashed out the door onto the sidewalk. He heard screams as his fist repeatedly collided with he mans face, but the man wasn't backing down and Craig could feel his own body being battered.

"Call the police!" someone shouted and Craig just blocked it all out as punch after punch landed onto the man's face. Finally, someone pulled him off of the man and Craig pushed their hands away as he finally lifted his head to wipe the blood off his mouth and saw Sophie standing there with her mouth agape.

* * *

Sophie walked down the sidewalk and watched as the Oceanside nightlife started to come alive on that Friday night. The day had been pretty awful. After her talk with J, she felt even more unsure of everything. Being around Craig was rehashing old feelings she had buried, and while she knew it was almost stupid to move on those feelings, nothing else felt right.

"Isn't that one of the Cody boys?" a girl whispered to her friend as Sophie passed her. Sophie looked up and saw exactly what the girl was talking about. Two guys were currently fighting in front of one of the bars and a crowd was quickly forming around them and one of the guys was indeed a Cody. It was Craig.

"Jesus…" Sophie mumbled and pushed through the growing crowd and looked at one of the people standing there. "What happened?"

The man was about to answer her until sirens could be heard and the crowd quickly dispersed. But the two didn't stop fighting until being pulled away.

"Enough! You guys wanna get arrested. Go on, get out!" the owner shouted and the guys holding Craig pulled him away from the other man and Sophie went towards him.

"Get our hands off of me!" Craig yelled and pushed the two guys that broke up the fight away from him. He whipped around to go back towards the bar when Sophie met his eyes. "Soph.."

"Come on, we gotta get out of here," she answered him and wrapped her arm around his waist. Looking at the two men, she nodded and smiled. "Thank you."

"Yeah. No problem. Douche bag inside deserved it, later Craig." one of the guys said and then they both walked away. Sophie put his arm over her shoulder and walked the opposite direction of the police, who just drove by after seeing the crowd disappear.

"Two fights, one day. Dang, you're on a roll." Sophie said as she and Craig walked slowly down the sidewalk.

"My apartment is close. I can get myself home," Craig answered her, wincing in pain.

Sophie shook her head and pulled out her phone. "I'll call an Uber. You're in pain, I want to make sure you don't die from internal bleeding or something."

"So caring," Craig answered gruffly but he didn't let go of her shoulder as she scheduled a pickup. About five minutes later, they were sitting in the back of a vehicle. Within five more minutes, the guy was pulling up to a row of apartments. Craig threw a wad of money in his direction. "Thanks, you didn't see us."

The guy nodded and Sophie helped Craig out of the vehicle. He pulled his keys from his pocket and handed them to her. "454. I didn't clean up for guest."

"I'd expect nothing less," Sophie responded jokingly and smiled when she heard him chuckle but winced as he groaned in pain. "Don't laugh. You might have a broken rib or something."

Craig scoffed. "Or something."

* * *

Craig let Sophie into the apartment and flipped on the light switch. Sophie looked around and saw a typical "bachelor" style decorating. Little to no artwork hung on the wall except posters and the TV that was mounted on the wall had gaming consoles stowed on the entertainment stand underneath it. The kitchen looked sparsely used but surprisingly did not seem dirty. Sophie was going to give Smurf credit for that one. In the corner of the room next to the patio doors was a surfboard and next to it was a helmet, more than likely used for the Ducati she was sure was locked in a parking space assigned to the renters of the condo.

"Do you have a first aid kit anywhere?" Sophie asked Craig as she watched him gingerly lower himself into a chair.

Shaking his head, he motioned to the first door down the hallway. "It'd be in there if there is one."

Sophie nodded her head and walked into the bathroom, which was also very clean. Thanks again, Smurf. As she opened up drawers, Sophie noticed a few things. One, there was virtually nothing in the bathroom to even show that someone lived there and two, what little was in there was more than likely bought by Smurf. Finally, she came across a first aid kit and walked back out in the living area and held up the white box. "Found one."

"I'm at your mercy, nurse," Craig replied and gave her a half smile as she sat down on the coffee table in front of him. Wordlessly, Sophie began cleaning up his hands and gently wiping the blood away. Craig watched her silently, only wincing a couple of times when the alcohol hit a cut. "You're still good at this."

Sophie smiled and looked up at him. "And apparently, I still have you to thank for that."

The two continued to sit in silence as she finished up cleaning up his hand and then motioned to his shirt. "Can you take off your shirt?"

Craig smirked and Sophie rolled her eyes but laughed until he groaned out loud as he lifted his arms. Her fingers went to the hem of the black shirt and she helped him pull it over his head and examined his torso. Her cold fingers reached out and gently touched his skin. Craig bit his lip and looked up at the ceiling, he had to think about tons of things that would take his mind off the fact that Sophie's soft hands were roaming around his torso.

"I don't think you have any broken ribs. Just bruised up, you can breathe okay? Right?" her voice asked him, bringing him out of his reverie.

Craig nodded. "Yeah, just hurts."

"I really wish you'd go to the hospital," she replied but when he started to argue, she lifted her slender hand and rolled her eyes. "I know. You are "fine", even though you're not."

Craig shrugged his shirt back on with her help. "It's been worse, Soph."

She knew that and she hated that.

"Do you need anything?" she suddenly asked him as she stood up and cleaned up the bloody rags and trash from bandaging his knuckles.

He sure as hell needed something. Coke. Weed. Pills. Hell, he'd take any of it. He felt himself losing the complete high he had from earlier that evening. But he also couldn't do that, she was here and he didn't want that to change.

"Nah, I'm okay. Wanna…get a pizza or something? Unless you have other plans or something?" Craig asked her, he had to take the jump. He saw her pause and sat up straighter. "Or Chinese? That one place you used to like is still open."

"They still have the best lo mein?" she asked and smiled at him from the corner of her mouth. He nodded and she stood up straight and nodded. "Okay, yeah. Let's do that."

* * *

"Her name is Casey, she owns the coffee shop that I was working at before I came back to Oceanside," Sophie explained as he watched her smile fondly talking about this Casey person.

Craig watched as Sophie nursed that beer in her left hand carefully. She'd been drinking the same one for the last 45 minutes. But he had to admit, this was the best night he'd had in a while. He didn't hurt and he didn't feel the need to go take a hit of any kind of illegal substance. He just wanted to keep talking to her.

"She really helped." Sophie finished her story and Craig wondered if she realized how much detail she'd just dropped on him.

"Did you hate the hospital?" he asked and took a swig of beer.

Sophie's smile dropped and she took her own drink of beer and shook her head. "I didn't hate my job. But…..there were things about all of it that I hated."

Yeah, so did he. She wasn't here. With him. But who to blame for that? Definitely not her.

"What about Jack?"

Sophie tensed and Craig almost wished he hadn't asked. But, she turned and crossed her legs. "You wanna know the whole story?"

He nodded.

"He was a rep for a pharmaceutical company. He seemed nice, and we talked when he came around. One day, Victoria was there for our "scheduled" lunch." she started and saw him look at her in confusion. "More on that later. Anyway, she met him and the next thing I know…he's sitting at Friday night dinner and explaining to her how we met and all sorts of stuff. I only saw this guy at the hospital, never outside. I didn't…..no. Just no. I wasn't interested in him like that."

"Why?" Craig had to ask.

Sophie eyed him for a second and then sighed. "You know how they say time heals old wounds? Yeah, It doesn't."

Yeah. Craig knew that feeling too.

"He started showing up more and more often. Every Friday dinner, at the hospital. At places that there was no way, he would've known that I'd be going too. I'm sure Victoria planted a bug, she wanted him just to fly in and take control of everything."

Craig scoffed. "He's an asshole."

Sophie nodded and sat her know empty beer bottle on the coffee table. "That he is. She hated you though, oh man. She hates you."

"Good." Craig nodded and crossed his arms. "The feeling is fucking mutual."

"She was convinced when I first came home that I was pregnant and you had just left. Then, she thought I was on heroin and cocaine. All of those things got checked, and she told me that she would help me with "the situation" if the pregnancy test was positive. Whatever that meant, I still don't want to know." Sophie laughed and rolled her eyes. "Mother of the year."

Again, silence filled the room and Sophie suddenly looked up at him. "Craig, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah…." Craig nodded and met her eyes. "I am too."

She finally felt as if everything they had been holding was finally gone. Relief swept over her, and she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She gave him a genuine smile before looking at her phone and seeing the time.

"Crap, it's late," she exclaimed and started to stand up. "What's the hope of getting a cheap hotel room tonight?"

Craig shook his head. "Not a chance. You can crash here, I'll sleep out here. You can take my room."

"No, I couldn't ask you to do that," Sophie exclaimed and reached to grab her bag. "I appreciate the offer…"

"Then stay. I'll behave myself, Soph. I promise." Craig replied and looked at the time. "It's almost midnight, you aren't going to find a place to stay for cheap and you can't go back to Rosie's. Just stay here."

Sophie crossed her arms and thought for a moment before finally giving him a small smile. "Okay, I'll stay."

* * *

She was just down the hall. What the fuck was he thinking? He should be pushing her away, going to Renn's, getting high and forgetting everything from the previous day.

 _But. He. Couldn't._

He also wasn't doing the job anymore. A church? What the hell was Baz thinking? The shit karma that would come from that just wasn't worth it. But they didn't listen to him, they never did. It was always Baz and his ideas. He could come up with his own, he knew he could. But that the moment, his head was so far out of the game. All he could think about was that Sophie was just down the hall, sleeping in his bed. The place she was always supposed to be. What was he supposed to do now that she was back? When she had first left, he had told himself he would get clean and go find her. He wanted her, needed her and absolutely loved her. She was the only thing he'd ever loved. But it had been too hard, it had been too hard to put the drugs down, too hard to stop doing jobs. He was who he was, and if she couldn't accept that…..then so be it.

At least that's what Smurf had always said. But he could count on one hand the number of things that had been "right" about things that Smurf had ever told him.

He needed Sophie, and he was going to get her back.


End file.
